Vent thread I'll probably forget about
Thread Topic: Vent thread I'll probably forget about
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new mental breakdown sweater wowie
this is like the 5th one jesus christ -
but hey i think i've figured out the reason behind all my relapses
oddly enough I think it's the fact that I HAVENT been relapsing that triggers it, however f---ed up and OCDcore of me. I don't know how true that is, I don't sh nearly as often to make a scientific conclusion on that or whatever, but that's partly what triggered this one and it's what triggered the last one (kind of) so the more you know -
just an hour ago i was sitting in bed going "oh damn it's been almost 4 months since i last sh, that's pretty good" wtf happened to make me spiral like that oh my god
it might've just been the rereading the vent journal to make sure I had my dates right (although again, i was proud of myself when i reread that because 'oh my god look how far I've come since november I'm such a f---ing badass' soooo) and then everyones spotify playlists smacking me in the face like some sort of f---ed up delayed reaction -
left church early
the speaker today was a jackass. I could rant for an hour about what a f---ing idiotic loser he is and how s---ty his talk was -
but tldr his talk was homophobic, ableist, and stupid (also he called people with mental issues "mentally deficient" which idk if that's an actual medical/therapy term or not but that sounds so demeaning to me)
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today is just not a good day ig
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What a douche. That's so pathetic of him
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i refuse to be another thing she's concerned about
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I have no right to be like this, my life isn't even that bad, so then when I do feel like s--- I wind up feeling guilty for feeling like s---
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Dammit my variance for the school I want to go to probably won't even be accepted ugh
I'm actually really pissed that it took this long to get a variance, ik my parents are busy and have lives outside of me, but it sucks knowing that if they listened to me and figured out how to get a variance back in December I'd have a higher chance of getting into that school -
Who knows tho maybe I'll get lucky
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should I take CE theater or just regular theater next year hmmmm
If I take CE theater then there's a chance I could get a whole year of college courses out of the way before I even finish High School (assuming I do AP and CE in all my other classes at some point, which knowing me I will) which would save me thousands of dollars and and entire YEAR of school, but if I take regular theater then... I take regular theater -
but if I take CE theater after already taking regular theater next year, it won't even count as a college course in art depending on what colleges I apply to, it'll count as an elective
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And throwing the whole not-knowing-which-school-I'm-going-to-yet throws another wrench in the situation because the CE classes are all different
tldr lots of school scheduling stress -
wow that post didn't even makes sense ignore that I wrote throwing twice lmao
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