.
- Locked due to inactivity on Jul 17, '22 3:54am
Thread Topic: .
-
I can't tell if I'm getting better or worse
-
My fear has grown stronger, but it also makes me more paranoid. And I come back to debating on what to do. Do I keep going and let the fear control me or do I face it? How would I go about facing it?
-
If I could start believing something better waits for me maybe I wouldn't be afraid. Maybe I would be able to do it. But I don't fully believe that.
-
I just want to stop the back and forth. I want it all to stop. But it feels like it'll never happen. It hasn't stopped. All the days blend together. Everything becomes one big foggy mess.
-
And everyone around me is so clueless to whats going on because I just cant find it in me to let them in. I can't ask for help.
-
And every bit of peice of advice I get I ignore. So even if I were to ask for help, what would it really do?
-
I just don't understand why the world would create a human to be like this. How a mind can make someone who desperately needs help deny it all the time.
-
And I actually want to talk. I don't just want to play uno anymore. I want to talk. But I can't for the life of me say anything. Every question I give a simple answer. I want to talk, I really do. But I need someone to guide me through the conversation. I need someone who will consistently try to keep the conversation going so I can talk.
-
Why do I lie when lying hurts me in the situation? I don't understand. It's like I have an issue with being honest.
-
Is it because being honest is like asking for help? And that's something I cannot do.
-
Why can't I just ask for help? It's not that hard to do. How am I going to do school next year when I can't even ask for help?
-
I just want my sessions to not be a waste anymore. I don't even remember what we're working on. I don't want to play uno. I want to work on something. I want to feel like I did something productive. But I'll never ask so until she decides to change it up I'll be stuck playing uno.
-
I'm just so frustrated with everything about the situation. I'm frustrated the most at myself for being the way that I am. If I was just able to say I want to work on something and what I'm struggling with we wouldnt be here. But I'm such a liar and I evade questions. I don't know why I do it and I want to stop but I can't.
-
I wish I had someone who could see right through me. Someone who could say "you're lying, what do you actually believe?" Someone to force me to practice being honest and asking for help.
-
But it seems like I'm able to fool everyone and that sucks because I need someone to doubt me.
This thread is locked, therefore no new posts can be made.
