Venting Thread
- Locked by Carri04 on Oct 29, '23 9:13pmReason: Sorry you gotta deal with this.
Thread Topic: Venting Thread
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Hopefully so but idk, I'm still trying to find those people tbh, but at the same time, friend making is hard bc I actually have to start conversations... and I'm not that good at that and am pretty shy heh
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Didn't get the best news today. The vet had called us to inform us that my dog passed peacefully in her sleep today... She has been in my life since forever so she's pretty old and I expected her to pass but still, it's so sad for me, especially since I've been going through a lot and am still suffering the pain of actually having to give her away to begin with
I feel bad she didn't live her last day of life with us. I wish she did so then I could hold her one last time, but at the same time, I don't really regret giving her away as for her last days of living, she got help, took medication to help with whatever sickness or pain she was feeling, and died a peaceful death in her sleep, not in pain. I love her so so so very much and I'm going to miss her each day that passes. She was just so precious to me... -
Still missing my dog like heck and wish she were still with us but yesterday, I had a semi-good day. Her death was still on my mind but I got a bit of a distraction while at school.
But also, there's something in school that I keep noticing... there's this one kid in the class who always wears a hoodie at school (that's not a problem, it's just that bc of that, I'm going to refer to him as Hoodie Boi) and this boy always keeps staring at me, like, I always catch him staring at me. My sister does too and sometimes, me and Hoodie Boi make eye contact and at first, it would weird me out but now I think I'm developing a crush but then again, idk cuz I'm never in touch with my feelings.
It's just that yesterday, a teacher assistant, Hoodie Boi, and Hoodie Boi's best friend were all in this small private room bc the assistant teacher (who I love btw, she's one of those fun teen-like type of people who I'm close with) had been helping us all finish any work needing to be finished this week. And while in there, we all were doing work but also joking around and I even got to talk to Hoodie Boi a bit and caught him staring at me whenever I was laughing or just in general.
My sister thinks he likes me and that I like him too bc I smile whenever talking abt him but tbh, I don't even know and it could just be a minor crush thing that'll go away or at least I think so. Plus, we're both just awkward people who make eye contact often and don't say anything so idk, that's kinda funny ngl -
Been having the toughest time ngl. Life sucks. I'm already have trouble dealing with my dog's death but now my grandfather may pass away too
He's been in the hospital after having what my grandmother thought to be a stroke and we found out that he was bleeding from his brain and though the doctors were able to (mostly) stop the bleeding, they first said my grandfather would feel worse before feeling better but now, they're thinking that he's going to pass away even if they say that he's so healthy with a brain that isn't like other brains of others his age. Due to this, I'm hoping there will be a chance he'll make it through because he's really fighting for his life rn
I lowkey feel so bad for my grandmother too because she started tearing up when she found out that there's a change her husband wouldn't make it and my grandma never cries, at least in front of others. All the women of my family are so strong with tough pasts, including her, so they don't break down easy but she has, especially since she's been dealing with things back to back. First, her sister's death, her other sister being in the hospital and her (my grandma) still needing to assist her now, then lastly, dealing with the fact that her husband may not make it. And unfortunately, if my grandfather passes, I may not be able to see him again or say goodbye or anything bc I'm under 18 and the doctors won't let anyone 17 and under go into the hospital room
It's just been a lot for all of us, especially my grandma and I'm just hoping things get better and my grandfather makes it through. I can't lose him too this year.. -
Been trying to smile and wait for something positive to happen but ofc I can never be happy :)
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Plus, this scar hurts so much ngl so I'm just in pain and also irritated by this stupid diabetes
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Visited my grandfather in the hospital and can't stand seeing him in that condition... He was shaking. I could tell he was trying to move and stay awake even after taking the medication that were supposed to do otherwise (basically calm him and let him rest).
He too was trying to open his eyes to look at me when my mother told my grandfather that I were in the room with them. I felt so bad seeing him this way and Ik he really wanted to hug me and say hello... I hope he's going to be okay. My grandmother is doing her best to be there for him and not give up on him. I'm not giving up on him either. I hope he makes it and I wish I could've been able to hug him
I've already expressed feeling bad for my grandmother over what is happening with her husband but I also feel bad for my grandfather's cat, Max, too who seems to always be looking for my grandfather who is his favorite person. He must miss him so much -
I've been crying so much like a crybaby this week. I just miss my dog. I wish I could've held her just before she died. I miss my grandfather and know he's going to pass soon and I won't be able to say a proper goodbye. I'm stressed with testing and grades cuz I'm an idiot. My sister has been acting so selfish and aggressive towards me at times which doesn't help with how I'm already feeling. I've been crying cuz I've been feeling lonely and friendless too cuz who the heck would want to hang with someone like me. I'm having problems with my diabetes and taking care of myself. I be worrying too much and overall, just feel like things are getting worse before they get better. If things do ever get better. And it's not even only this, things have been happening back to back and idk what to do anymore. There's nothing I can do to help and I just feel helpless... this sucks..
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On a positive note, I finally heard from Angel <33/p so that made me smile today, I was worried and missing them tbh
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My grandfather is still feeling weak and brain dead in his hospital bed. My grandmother had been there to support him all day, 24/7 as she has done since him arriving at the hospital, but I think it's becoming a lot for her bc when hearing news of him possibly not making it from the doctor, she seemed upset (obviously) and even broke down a bit but went into her car to hide it, for no one to see but I saw it... and have never seen her cry like that before. She usually doesn't show her emotions as most women in my family don't... it just makes me feel so bad but since I can't express my support or express anything through words in person, I have decided to just express myself through a note that I'll give to her
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Feel so bad and even I am feeling sad too. Cried a few times, especially when my grandmother said that the doctors told her that my grandfather likely won't be the same ever again. Plus, my grandparents house has just been so dull without him around I've noticed, no one singing, playing loud music, playing the drums, joking around with us or his cat... it's just sad. I see how sad and lonely my grandmother is too even when she tries to hide it
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Sick of being lonely and being alone to cry about it
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But then again.. kinda my fault that no one talks to me and when people do talk to me, it's usually just them tryna get smth from me
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Been listening to a lot of songs on Spotify and my fave song now is definitely Glimpse of Us by Joji, I also like Blames on Me by Andrew Stewart too
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Well that's it then... my grandfather passed at the hospital at 11 tonight... I'll miss him and feel so bad for my grandmother...
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