Venting Thread
- Locked by Carri04 on Oct 29, '23 9:13pmReason: Sorry you gotta deal with this.
Thread Topic: Venting Thread
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I would say I'm making a friend rn, but I don't want to get my hopes up since usually, things fall apart right after meeting and I think I did or said smth wrong but idk. I'm not the best when it comes to making friends anyway--
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Ofc the friends online. It's not like I can actually make any irl like what--
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It irritates me when people say someone is attention seeking by venting or causing self harm when really, they're only support seeking and the harm is often done when one finds themself alone, not in public
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I've been having lots of mood swings lately and have been feeling very frustrated and sad suddenly during the day; Even crying once a day uncontrollably no matter what mood I'm in-- which is something I hate since it sometimes occurs in public. This may be a sign that I need to get help but I'm not able to seek any atm so I've just been trying to control myself. It's torture to do so but I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or do something I'll regret just bc I have issues and aren't thinking at the moment of speaking my words.
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I have in person school tomorrow and am scared; mostly of the students and work. The students in my old class from last year were funny and fun, but it's not like I could connect or talk to them. I only saw the fun they had w other students or in front of the class. Never with me really. Some of them didn't even know my name. I've been put in embarrassing situations in the school too that make me hate this even more. It's a new school year but there's likely going to be the same students in the class. Good news is that I have the same teacher and she's pretty nice. I'm just not fond of the students due to them not being too welcoming or kind to others. I can kinda understand why they're like that, but at the same time, I've seen them do some horrible things to new students and I fear them judging me. Tbh, I'm just afraid of my anxiety and Atelophobia getting the best of me, along with being overwhelmed with the work I have since my diabetes gives me trouble mentally, like with focus and understanding. Hopefully, I can improve this year tho, if things aren't as bad as last year
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School wasn't too good tbh. I felt like crying all day but had to hold it in, got anxious many times, kept laughing out of nervousness when people came up to me or had to speak w me over an assignment, didn't know where any of my class were. Even when I asked for help, I had trouble understanding since the schedule was different and the classes changed, and other stuff happened too that I honestly don't wanna talk about.
I'm at least comfortable with one of my teachers since she teaches most of my classes and taught my classes from last year too but everything else really made me nervous -
Plus, we had to watch this assembly thing during our break and it mentioned suicide. Didn't help me control my emotions and mind any better.
I also have this thing where I randomly mumble things without realizing it. I think it's more of a thing out of me trying to focus but everyone just thinks it's strange. Luckily, not many noticed on the first day. -
Talked to Luca; feel encouraged n happy :D
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I was fine but what they said honestly hurt my feelings so much. It makes it seems like I'm not doing enough for them when I've been doing my best. I didn't get upset over it tho, or at least, I didn't show it, I just remained calm. It's not like I was going to yell or anything, I honestly just feel sad and am avoiding crying
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But then, at the same time, I'm fine bc I know that you can't always please others
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I've kinda just accepted the fact that life sucks and is never going to change unless things get worse, so really, I've just been taking my time to find myself and figure out what I truly want and who I truly am bc I am tired of just doing what my mom wants all the time
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I'll be okay... I don't know when but I will, despite these health problems...
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I hate being a diabetic-- and whatever else I have-- sometimes...
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He deactivated and I'm worried... Poor guy. I can feel his pain and see that we're more alike than different now but it always hurts seeing the pain of others and makes me pretty bummed out tbh. Hate seeing people go through things... Hope he's okay tho and that everything improves for him but if not, I'm here for him. Hope I can help him more, along with others, even the ones who hide their pain behind bright smiles. I always check on those "Happy People" too cuz you never know
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My family and neighbors make me feel unsafe
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