Mood
- Locked due to inactivity on Dec 17, '20 3:54am
Thread Topic: Mood
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Feelings hurt and they cause so much pain whenever I have them. I don't want them because they make me weak. They don't make me stronger, they only tear me down.
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I feel like someone ripped my heart out my chest.
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I don't feel like a person.
I don't feel like I matter.
And nobody treats me as either, so maybe I'm not and maybe I don't. -
I don't want to be here for this.
It hurts every day.
And I can't please anyone, anyway. Not even myself.
So what am I doing this for? -
There was a question. It was this:
If you had no fear at all in life, what would you want to do most?
My answer...
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...was "kill myself". -
The honest truth, if I didn't have any fear whatsoever, that's what I'd do.
And fear is all that grounds me, at this point. -
My heart feels heavy, and even life is using me at this point.
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I just want to cry in someone's arms.
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I would explain if I could, because it feels like I should be explaining something, but I'm not even sure what I'm feeling at this point, or how to explain it, so I just feel it and don't try to express it verbally.
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I don't know how I'm supposed to go on in life with things the way they are.
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And they try to later on make light of what they've done to me, passing it off as a joke, but it's not funny. It never is.
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I don't know. It just doesn't feel right anymore. I mean, it never did to begin with, but now it feels even worse.
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I want to be happier.
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Not sure if that's something we can achieve, at this rate.
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They say all I have to do is ask for help, but then they don't help.
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