Mood
- Locked due to inactivity on Dec 17, '20 3:54am
Thread Topic: Mood
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I mean, I guess I just want to be accepted and understood, but I'm not sure if this is a very welcome trait.
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And is it something I should even be okay with? I mean, I don't feel too bad with it since it doesn't harm me or anyone else, but I don't know.
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I mean, admitting it makes me feel better, and I'm not good at hiding things. I'm honestly a bit comfortable with it, but...
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I don't even know if that's something appropriate to announce here. Does it go against forum rules? Or, can I voice it since it's just on the topic of and nothing descriptive?
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Nothing feels right. It all feels wrong.
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It feels a little weird not having anyone to occupy my mind. Like, all my life, I've been into someone all the time, and it was comforting. Whenever I was into someone, I was too busy with that to see that no one really cared. But, now that I have absolutely no one to feel anything for, I don't know how to take this.
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And it kinda hurts to think that I don't have anyone that I could live for, and nobody finds me important.
I'm only alive to be used by others. -
I'm always grieved to be here, alive.
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Nothing makes sense, anymore...if it ever did.
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And there is no fix for any of it.
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I'm actually feeling something else, now. It's tearing at me and I can't name the feeling. I don't like it, though. It feels like it should be bittersweet but it's really painful. I don't even know what I'm thinking about, and it's just weird to have thoughts so deeply suppressed that it gets this way.
I don't know why, but I feel like I'm suppressing a thought that I'm afraid to acknowledge, so I'm trying not to think it, but I don't even know what I'm trying not to think!
Not that it makes sense to say this. -
Wait, so this is a familiar pang.
possibly repressing a sexual thought again, in which case, we should. -
I don't want to feel this way. I am just lonely and I take attention how it comes, but unless I feel absolutely valuable to someone, I feel like nothing because everyone I know treats me like nothing.
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My problem is that I don't want to feel anything, but I know that I will because I'm only human, I was born this way, and I don't know how to not feel things.
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And people say it's okay, but it's not okay. I don't feel okay with having to feel things like this. I don't want to feel whatever I have no control over.
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