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- Locked due to inactivity on Sep 24, '21 3:54am
Thread Topic: No Subject
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I can’t even do my graduation after plans anymore. Or move to a new continent and start fresh. I’m just stuck in Washington.
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The idea that the brain isn’t fully mature and developed until the age of 26 scares me because that means I don’t have the right capacity to be considered an actual parent yet even if the kid is my sibling. What if I don’t make the right choices for their education with Annabelle? What if my crippling mental illness that makes it hard for me to have the energy to even wake up sometimes becomes a core memory for them? I don’t want them to remember me as the depressed sibling that spends their time sleeping when they’re not out of the house on campus or working?
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BuT cOrE mEMORy iS a MoViE tHinG
It is but you and I both know that we All have one or two memories from when we were younger. I don’t want them seeing me sleeping all the f---ing time to be one of those memories for them. -
But I’m always so tired. No matter how much I sleep I am always sleepy. Sleeping 2-4 hours a night isn’t enough anymore even if on Tuesdays I take the whole morning to sleep through to catch up. I can’t catch up on sleep anymore and I don’t know why.
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I’ve been doing the math and I think I can survive with just one job if I continue the discord moderating and math help side jobs so that I can continue school but the problem is I don’t know if I should quit zumiez or dollar tree
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Mind you I’ve worked at dollar tree since I was a literal teenager they saw me through my emo phase and everything. Hair in face and all. It’s the same vibe throughout all states. It’s basically always empty except for rush hour during lunch, shoplifting isn’t that high because everything is $1, and just like in other locations my manager lets me listen to music when I stick shelves.
But zumiez? It’s a cool company, the employees are all my friends and I see them outside at the skate park sometimes. The discount is cool but the shoplifting is high and then we get yelled at but literally every skaters dream is to work at zumiez -
The pay is equally s--- so it really doesn’t matter.
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All I’m concerned about is the way it looks like I’ve aged 10 years over the past year because of how little sleep I’ve gotten. Idk, I think I’d probably stick to zumiez because I could then transfer to journeys, vans, or Spencer’s gifts if need be since they’re pretty much all the same vibe
Just kidding don’t work for vans, it’s stressful to learn all style names and then go running to the back to find the style and size you need -
I’m so sleepy. What does it mean to dream you’re helping your roomate put up a wall full of mirrors by looking off a tiktok tutorial and then she drops one and it breaks and then the other one falls too but the rest stay in place
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Because that really seems like something cat girl and I would do especially because she likes to hang stuff all over her walls to cover the white walls
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Oh f--- me it means bad luck in future if it was an accident
I mean yeah it was because we used packaging tape to tape it to the wall on the last two because we had ran out of conmand strips
AHHHHH -
Lol what can possibly be worse than me being in debt from medical expenses, having mental illness, and having commitment issues all while juggling 2 jobs and an almost completed Mechanical Engineering oh s--- wait
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It means I could be getting cheated on? By who LMAO? I’m single because I don’t have time to date anybody anymore and I realized that dating women that were 50+ meant I could be getting groomed
s--- can a 20-21 year old age when this happened.. can I still get groomed? I mean I wasn’t born until my ex turned 55 -
Oh my god that sounds bad typing out
But she was so attractive IDC I liked her and we dated for almost a year. Most stable relationship I was in. Until November happened and I came crumbling down like a sugar cookie. -
I keep mentioning November over and over again but I truly don’t know what happened to me in November and why my brain decided to stop hiding certain memories from me and me remember things I didn’t want to remember event after event and then me isolating myself from everyone?
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