Visions in Ashes
- Locked due to inactivity on Mar 4, '23 3:54am
Thread Topic: Visions in Ashes
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I need to be okay when I can't help others...
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It feels like forever when you're gone...
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I want to cry in your arms...
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I'm trying my best to be positive, but I really feel sad. Even if I know it'll be okay, right now, I just feel sad. How I need you...
But, always, I will put you first, and you need whatever helps you feel better... -
I thought I had cried enough, but I still have many tears left to shed...
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I could never apologize enough that this happened...
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I can't withhold my tears...
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Sometimes there are these thoughts that come up, leaving me feeling as though I am too repulsive and should dare dream of approaching you after something...
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Things how it's been since I was little. People made me feel like s--- for coming to them after I'd done something to set them off. Even if it was hours later and I came to apologize... Days, sometimes...
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Sometimes I feel like I have no right to call you "honey" or "sweetheart"... I have to stop myself from saying it in case it angers or upsets you. It's natural for me to call you those things. My heart spills itself out to you daily in bits and pieces... I hold you close to my heart, so I call you these things out of love. Even if things haven't been too great, I can't help but to still want to call you those things. For me, it's an indication that, while we might not be on the best terms with each other, I still love you and care immensely about you...
I refrain from calling you these things when I've been a part of the cause of your unpleasant mood because of trauma. It slipped out to someone a day after we'd had an argument and he went off on me... -
But I long to call you my honey. I long to call you my sweetheart. It's just to show that I care...and it's natural, like breathing, it's natural for me to say it without any thought because you are deserving of such love...
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I still can't help but to feel like it's my fault...
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I feel broken inside...
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I just need to cry...
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I feel like I still need to beg forgiveness...
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