Visions in Ashes
- Locked due to inactivity on Mar 4, '23 3:54am
Thread Topic: Visions in Ashes
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It hurts to see you take the blame for all if this. It hurts to see you block me out no matter how many times I try to reassure you that you're okay. It hurts how you take my stress and put it on yourself when it wasn't even because of you. There's nothing I can say or do.
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I've tried. There's nothing left to try. I can only do but so much if you don't accept or acknowledge it...
Do you want me to lie and say "Yes, it's all your fault"? Do you want me to lie and say I'm angry at you? What are you looking for? Why are you beating yourself up? Why are you feeding yourself lies people have probably fed you all your life? Do you really think I want you to do that? Do you think I want to do that to you? What I've said is the truth, but if it's not good enough, I don't have what you're looking for, and I refuse to tell you anything less than the truth. -
I love you and I will fight your doubts and demons for as long as I have to just to let you know that you are not a failure. You are not forgotten. You are not the source of my misery, but the source of my hope and joy and endurance. You are worth more than you know. You deserve more than you have. You are my other half, and without you, I just don't feel complete. When you are down, I'm not able to be happy, myself. My heart aches for you when I see you like this. And though I keep saying "I'm here!" "You're not the problem!" "You're doing your best!", you block it out. Why?
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I will always be here for you, but the catch is that I can only be here as much as you let me...
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But it hurts to know that you would rather drink poison than to trust what I'm saying...
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I don't want to fight with you just for you to listen, so I surrender. I'm not going to fight you. I'm not going to beg you to listen...because I trust that you'll listen when you're ready. I trust that you'll make it through this and see the truth for yourself..
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I won't lie. It's hard for me not to say anything to him. But I'm just trying to be respectful...
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The thing is, I don't want him to sit there and soak in all those thoughts. That's why I wanted to talk to him about it...but...
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Jeez, you must really love me to obsess so much to the point that you would try something like this. Lmao
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Like, I am laughing that you would do something so stupid. Like, f--- you and your bulls---, b----. You think I give a f---?
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But, for real, don't come to me about that. Go get help. You obviously need it.
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Welp, I have used up my one and only f--- to give about this. 😂
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Why is it so hard to keep a steady mood? It takes everything in the world for me to feel okay and only a few minutes to not feel okay...
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I start my day feeling low, take all day to climb and feel better, but, by the time I feel better, I start to feel low again, and the day ends as it started...
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Touchy things are touchy. I try...
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