Visions in Ashes
- Locked due to inactivity on Mar 4, '23 3:54am
Thread Topic: Visions in Ashes
-
I think surviving after attempted suicide is probably the worst thing anyone could go through. I went to the hospital and got help to preserve my life just to hear them shame and judge me the whole way through, calling me selfish for wanting to rid myself of me being a burden to them.
-
It's my fault. I shouldn't be here. I never should've gone to the hospital.
-
No one would've found out until it was too late. Why did I try to get help?
-
Nobody cares as long as I'm still here to do whatever they want. It doesn't matter unless they're at risk of losing their "free servant".
-
I thought I was doing better. I remained another year just to here their insults, make them disappointed, and gain someone I know I could never leave. If I didn't have you, I wouldn't mind ending my life. Nobody really seems to care about me anymore. But I long to see you happy and comforted and well loved; it brings me joy and comfort to know that I may be the one to do that for you. You deserve so much, and you're too precious to ever hurt. If I ended my life, I know it would leave you in unimaginable pain, and I can't be okay with leaving, knowing it would do that to you...
-
Today feels worse than usual. It could be the current events, this week. I hope my new antidepressants will help, but I can't send in the slip to get them until tomorrow...
-
I'm failing...
-
I just don't know, and I have no one to talk to about it...
-
But, what would talking about it do? It's not like anyone can really help. All they can do is listen and say some positive thing or another that might convince me for a little while that I want to be alive.
-
But, if it's not my fault, why does your silence feel like punishment? You just vanished, and now you watch but won't approach me. I'm not able to read what that means, but when I try to, it says I've done this to you.
It's hard to convince myself otherwise, despite you telling me it's not my fault and you don't go silent to hurt me... -
I hate letting you go. It must be the parental figure I'm me that just wishes to hold you tight until it's all better. But you are almost 25...and if you feel you need space, I must respect that...no matter how much I just want to stay and spill my heart to you about how loved you are and all the things that make you worth fighting for and why you are the love of my life...
-
*in me
There is sorrow in my heart, for when you are in pain, I only wish to be there with you, but I know you will be okay...We'll be okay... -
But please, take my love with you. I will leave you alone, for the time being, but let my love embrace you since I cannot...
-
I miss you already, but still...
-
Sigh...
This thread is locked, therefore no new posts can be made.
