.
- Locked due to inactivity on Jul 17, '22 3:54am
Thread Topic: .
-
But I'm not strong. I can't just do it. I'm stalling because I'm a baby. I'm scared that I'll tell. And they'll take me to the hospital. And I'll get scolded.
-
Why can't I be strong?
-
I'm just so ready for this all to be over, but I'm scared to make my move. Nothing will change if I don't make my move. I know that. I have so many ways I could go with this choice. But I'm like a deer in headlights.
-
I need to clean myself up. I have an appointment to go to.
-
I don't know if I'm ready to pretend to be happy or if it will backfire but we'll see. Maybe one day when someone asks me if I'm alright I'll be honest with them. Not that many people ask. Just the people whose job it is to ask.
-
Sometimes it would be nice to hear people say that they like me. But I know thats not the truth so it's not going to happen.
-
I always wish that despite my flaws, that someone would love me. But it feels so impossible for someone to actually like me enough. I have my family, but that's just not enough. But my family is all I'll ever had because liking me for me is a chore nobody wants to do. If I was really myself then nobody online would like me either. Whoever I used to be is completely gone, I'm just a walking symptom.
-
I just want to have someone else replace me so I can disappear forever. And nobody will know that I even left in the first place. Not that anybody knows me well enough to notice any difference. Anybody could pretend to be me.
-
It's not like anybody would miss me if I went away. It'd probably provide more relief than sorrow to people. I'm too much for anyone to handle. Nobody can predict my mood swings and tell when I'm not okay.
-
I just wish I wasn't so difficult. I want to be able to express my feelings. I do such a good job at hiding them that nobody can tell when something's wrong and it upsets me. I wish they had a meter that could show what my emotions were so they could help me.
-
I can't keep doing this but the only person I trust with my emotions in my house is gammy and she's busy all the time. Or she's with someone I don't trust and don't want them hearing what I have to say..
-
I feel so worthless
-
I just feel like I constantly have to trigger bad feelings because I'm bored and it's the only way to pass the time.
-
It feels like my biggest trigger is boredom. My mind can't comprehend not being occupied so it creates problems to occupy myself.
-
And I just get suicidal again. It's like a neverending cycle. I don't know what to do for the next 7 hours.
This thread is locked, therefore no new posts can be made.
