.
- Locked due to inactivity on Jul 17, '22 3:54am
Thread Topic: .
-
It appears I forgot what it's like to truly be okay, and whenever it happens, it feels wrong.
-
So uh
Not okay anymore -
Seeing her made me feel so much worse. There was so much I wanted to say, but couldn't bare to utter the words. It shows how much she's moved on and I haven't. She barely acknowledged I was there.
-
Everything serves as a reminder now. I can't escape it and my own self hatred and jealousy has turned me into a completely different person.
-
I have to postpone my plan for next year if he dies
-
And idk if I can do that
-
I can't stay in the partial program due to the circumstances and I'm starting to wish I could. I belong in a place like that anyways. I'll never have a normal life. I won't allow myself to. And that's sad. But it's true. I'm not a fighter. I don't have willpower. I'm not strong enough to make the changes I need to make.
-
People act like I'm a strong person and tell me I can have a normal life. But that's just not the truth. They don't actually know me, because if I was as strong and resilient as they say, I would already be living a normal life. But I'm not, and there's a reason for that. I know myself. I know I'm stubborn. I'm too stubborn.
-
I have grip of steel on all of the wrong things. Just like when I saw her today. I almost started crying. Because I can't get her back as a friend. I think about it an unhealthy amount. But seeing her just brought it back up again. And it felt like someone was stabbing me with their sharpest knife. I'm not over it. It's been years, yet I'm not over it. I don't let go. And it just eats away at me.
-
It's just another reminder of what I'll never have. Life keeps rubbing things in my face like that. I thought it was unbearable with my brother. But it just keeps happening. It's a cruel form of punishment. Just kill me. Why keep me alive? For some sick entertainment? Is the recurring joke about how I have nothing? Because I get it. Trust me, I get it. Stop throwing reminders in my face.
-
And when they fist bumped. I thought I was going to literally die from the mental anguish. I can't take it anymore. I can't. I've had enough. I don't know how I'm supposed to live like this.
-
I'm going to snap one of these days. There's no way someone can possibly endure this much mockery.
-
They argue like little kids and it's getting on my nerves
-
Ig f--- my boundaries they don't matter because his ego is more important to other people
-
Honestly I do not care if you don't feel supported by me when driving. It makes me uncomfortable and I'm tired of pretending it doesn't.
This thread is locked, therefore no new posts can be made.
