mission thread
- Locked due to inactivity on Jan 4, '21 3:54am
Thread Topic: mission thread
-
mission to feel better
&
mission to go
i decided to make this because i need to get better and i need to go
i've been feeling very bad for a while
its kind of got worse although i have got better too but in another way its worse
it will be different from the other thread, i think i will report about once daily in this thread so its clearer
currently i feel dead or dying, i feel dire daily like literally not a normal person, like an undead person or supernatural or like a creature in the wrong world
the atmosphere is wrong, the days are too short, i feel like i never have any time
i'm sad because no one came to save me yet
i think i'm upset because of that
i hope i go soon -
so i guess but even if i feel better, i'll still feel bad sometimes because i want to go?
but i'm hoping by doing this i can go
like i can figure it out more -
day 1
6.5/10?
still feel tired, feel like there's not enough time in the day, need an extra 12 hours in the 24 hours
managed to stop my screaming often
felt fairly ok in the day, had good time
started to get upset around late afternoon, felt confused
didn't do any head
felt like i didn't see him -
day 2
so far 5/10? but mainly because of how i feel
writing already because quite a lot to remember and i don't want to forget
haven't been screaming today at all really
but my head isn't good
feel beyond exhausted and my head is having crazy moments
had a really bad dusty dead feeling for hours -
part 2
2/10
kind of lost my head and had the breakdown where he doesn't respond to me :( horrible :(
don't know how it got like that
i think i thought he was real during the day and then i got bad screaming feelings and asked him to help and he didn't and it felt like we were getting more upset
i think i should take more naps or sleep but i'm trying to work on this -
day 3
6/10
i mean i tried my best
and it stayed as stable as i could
but i think i'm pretty tired and exhausted
felt kind of bad about the staff today, well they weren't very nice and i could hear them nearly all day
i was working but i don't know what i was working on
maybe saw him slightly though and saw a bed? -
day 4
7/10 wanted the 7 today and i tried so hard so i'll give it 7 anyway
ugh felt awful when i woke up as usual, felt like i hadn't been away from the staff here or their world
staff made me feel bad again
didn't feel very well i guess
still feel exhausted tbh
i have to fix this
but it gets 7/10 for maintaining stability -
day 5
7/10
cried about the staff but that wasn't my fault
felt like held today like he was holding me more steady so i didn't have to do much
felt like i'd slept better when i woke up like its working but i didn't sleep much only about 4/5 hours
still felt tired though and weird
also think i saw him in the air? which is very good -
day 6
8/10
feel like better again but i'm very exhausted
felt like slept better again
been doing lot of music
i thought today was good because i felt better again and held again
my head still feels bad though and painful dead
i still feel dead, exhausted and not good and a bit worried as well -
day 7
8.5/10
feel better again
felt like i slept better again
still got the dead head pain but not as bad?
felt sad and mourning when jake came 😿
had a blanket tied on my head a lot of the time which helped
want to go though and i miss him -
day 8
8.5/10
felt pretty bad today physically like my head hurts like i'm dead
i still feel like i slept better again though and i think i'm still ok which is why its 8.5
think the days are less short now but i'm not sure
i don't know i just don't feel like myself, i feel dead and painful head
i feel like i'm dying even worse now 😦 -
day 9
8.5/10
i actually felt pretty bad today, i had my head wrapped up in a blanket like a zombie
but i think i slept better yet again
my head didn't hurt like yesterday
i think i spent the whole day staying away from the people -
day 10
8.5/10
i think i slept better again
i have nothing to write about really
feel kind of empty and dead -
day 11
n/a -
day 12
can't rate
don't know what i'm doing
feel like i'm understanding my state more maybe?
but i'm getting quite upset and emotional about it
stressed with stuff
its loud in the day and i have to play music or cover my head with a blanket and i'm thinking i'm leaving to a better house hopefully
This thread is locked, therefore no new posts can be made.
