mission thread
- Locked due to inactivity on Jan 4, '21 3:54am
Thread Topic: mission thread
-
day 13
don't want to rate
well i'm struggling, idk
i just don't want to be here
the people are awful -
day 14
8/10?
felt better today
nothing really went wrong
the people were nicer because they listened and said they'd try to get me a house
slept for 8 hours in total but i woke up and felt very deprived still and hearing their voices in the morning made me decide to write papers asking if they could get me a place quicker because i need to leave
so i'm feeling more positive -
day 15
8/10
tired and awful and deprived when i woke up again, only slept 4 hours
i'm upset again about the time because i've been hearing them talk all day again, even up until the night and now i have hardly any time before i have to sleep if i want to fix my sleep depriveness?
but i'm just hopeful they can find a house for me
i'll ask them to keep looking
and i feel like everyone is really kinda mean and i have this feeling like i can't breathe
can't really think about him atm
yeah this doesn't sound good -
sounds like i need to stop worrying about the people
i guess they just get to me sometimes though?
also i think i need to take breaks from thinking about him and because i can get too upset about it
well i can't do it all the time anyway, so i do take breaks -
day 16
9/10
well i slept better and went far away idk
which makes me feel like its working
my face looked different when i woke up like brown and tired, a different texture
i was doing a lot of music/videos
kind of sad about no one talking to me
i've stopped playing the boyfriend game
idk what i've been doing
it was quieter today
i feel less tired but i still don't feel good
and i still have the feeling like i can't breathe, it feels like its him but i don't understand why
i'm a bit worried about the can't breathe feeling, i don't know what it means
and i feel bad because i can't see him and i want to see him -
day 17
unrateable
i still have the feeling like i can't breathe
i feel like i've lost him, well i haven't seen him for a few days and i'm struggling to think of him -
day 18
don't want to rate
feel exhausted and really sad
well i was like depressed because of my life and no one talks to me
couldn't think of him well i was too depressed to think
and uh i feel in depressed stage -
day 19
10/10
i think i'm just over tired and very depressed
i feel too tired to talk about it
like i feel past going
well we did some good stuff today or i did, music
i don't feel very good, i feel like i can't think of him -
day 20
don't want to rate
i don't feel very good at all
inhuman and i don't know what to do
hmm i felt very dead today like literally a dead person
uh this isn't good -
looking at the numbers though, maybe i'm doing it right? because the last numbers were 9 and 10 so maybe i'm doing good
well i need to leave
but i'm going to ask them again to get me a house but i don't know how long it'll be -
day 21
it was quite bad because i feel like i can't cope
hmm i felt like i can't feel better and i just want to get out of here and low self esteem because he never comes
and i realized doing too much music makes me depressed so don't do too much -
day 22
kinda bad again
probably better than yesterday
got overtired just now so i should lie down more so i can sleep more
got him back a little
but i'm still kind of bad -
day 23
6/10
idk what i did today
well but i feel slightly better
even though it was at a 10 and now a 6, i think its good and it could keep going from 6 to 10 as some sort of way thats working? idk -
day 24
6/10
i'll give it 6 but i still felt pretty bad
well for the same reasons as usual
the people were scary and loud
hmm well i really need to move and that upset me a lot
upset for the same reasons of being depressed -
i think its because i'm exhausted
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