alexithymia
Thread Topic: alexithymia
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Fr like what are we doing here guys
Fair enough lmao, I did a bit of research a while ago and it wasn’t overly bad but there were a bunch of anti-lgbt stuff trump did and stuff which is what trump supporters tend to overlook unfortunately -
like listen I love an affordable life but I also love actually living-
Ohhh makes sense lol -
Fr like okay man-
Yeah lol -
this election really sucked because of the amount of people who just didn't care enough to vote (not talking about the people who couldn't decide, I'm talking about the people with their ballots filled out and just didn't care enough) bc now it just feels really inaccurate because "wow if I know 30 adults who would've voted for kamala but just didn't care enough to actually vote then who knows what that was like all over the country-"
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Yeah it really sucks dude-
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Yeah it's really frustrating
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Yeah
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Trigger warning. Nobody has to reply or be worried about me I just need to put this down
I’m gonna try really hard to be clean until feb comes. I know healing takes a while but I really don’t want to keep yk yk until school comes back (yes I know it’s bad for me but setting goals is good enough yk) bc it’s summer and super hot and i don’t want to have to wear sweaters in the middle of December and if I do my parent will be suspicious and my mum will most likely get mad because it’s easy to not hate yourself apparently
“Just stop hating yourself” omg I never thought of that crazy -
I shouldn’t want to stop out of fear of my parents I should want to stop because I want to heal but here we are ig
Idec about myself at this point (like if I get physically hurt or smth womp womp ig) I just don’t want my mum to yell at me again
It’s weird bc I say this then continue to be paranoid about how much sleep I’m getting and what and how much I eat
Idk why I feel like this I just know I feel like this -
Does it take anyone else like at least an hour of laying in bed to fall asleep
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me- ✋
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Yeah
Almost relapsed today
The day after I set my goal I thought about doing it
Ugh this is hopeless -
Now I don’t even want to do the things I wanted to do and be creative I just want to rot
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Unrelated to what happened before but I don’t think she’ll ever know I much I cared. A lot of the people in my life that I care about probably won’t know the full extent, but especially her
Like she just threw it away. Idk if it was easy or not, but it sure looked like it was. I can’t let it go no matter how hard I try like it’s still eating at me. She was one of the biggest reasons I didn’t try anything too bad with my sh or go beyond it. Like she was a reason for living and to keep going but she just left and it’s like all my reasons just disappeared. Ik it’s not good to put that much pressure on a person but it’s something I subconsciously did and I never guilt tripped her about it. I let her leave but it hurt that she did because it seemed like I wasn’t that much of a reason to her. Like I had all this love and care for her and she just didn’t have it for me. -
And it hurts that I’m not that special to anyone else. There are people in my life who I hold so high and I try so hard to be someone they enjoy being around but I’m just never that special and it’s selfish yeah but I want at least one person to hold me as high and think of me as much as I do them. Like I want to be special to someone but I feel like nobody really feels that way about me and it sucks
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