"can't the future just wait?"
Thread Topic: "can't the future just wait?"
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why can’t i just PULL MY f---ING LIFE TOGETHER-
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GOD, i’m such an IDIOT-
i’m a dumb---, a f---in loser… -
i don’t deserve the life i have…
i don’y deserve the family i have,
i don’t deserve the friends i have,
i don’t deserve any of it… -
i don’t know how much i’ll be on the rest of today and tomorrow, which f---ing sucks bc she’s coming back and i need her so much…
i miss her so much, it’s so f---ing pathetic… -
but she’s like, one of my only friends rn, so…
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and my mom’s most likely gonna be keeping me busy so i may not be able to sneak on as often anymore…
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i don’t think i’ve ever really truly felt this bad for myself until today…
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recently, everyone says they are seeing less of me,
i could do better if i had energy,
be like i used to be.
and frequently, i picture myself walking straight into the sea,
laughing as the waves come rolling to my knees,
what a place to be… -
i’m tired of being a failure, but i can’t get any better…
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i need this cold to go away…
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i need a therapist, i think.
but i’m not gonna get one if she’s gonna blab s--- to my mom -
just, putting this here for myself. -
i wish i could just pull it together.
i feel like i’ve gone thru it these past few weeks, tho.
i’m just- i’m so tired. i miss my friends from theatre,
i miss blizzard, i miss my irl bsf,
i wish i wasn’t single,
i wish i was going to the gym
and getting my license,
and using my time better,
and not being a f---ing couch potato.. -
guess i’ll go study some more…
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my mom keeps getting mad that i keep getting baggy shirts n clothes.
one, i like baggy clothes, and two, i hate my body so i constantly have to hide it from myself and everyone else- like, girl, why do you think i wear baggy clothes?
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