"can't the future just wait?"
Thread Topic: "can't the future just wait?"
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all the good people are gone,
or at least the ones i know.
i know that nihilistic bulls---,
and my friends have told me so.
i feel guilty being hurt,
‘cause there are other people hurting,
and those people really need support right now.
i cast a stone out on the water,
and it came back to me.
and it broke the laws of physics,
but i kinda wish it sank.
‘cause when you break what can’t be broken,
there are people who get hurt,
and those people really need support right now.
every time i see a spark,
there’s someone putting out the fire.
but i will not let my grandparents bury their grandchild.
it’s a struggle back and forth,
and i’m learning, but it’s happening by force.
it’s 4 a.m. and i’m f---ing tired…
(lyrics by everybody’s worried about owen) -
i srsly wanna know if he liked me at some point, tho-
-
so i fall in love, just a little, oh, a little bit,
everyday with someone new,
i fall in love, just a little, oh, a little bit,
everyday with someone new,
i fall in love, just a little, oh, a little bit,
everyday with someone new,
i fall in love, just a little, oh, a little bit,
everyday with someone new~ -
i wish i could just, get over him-
i honestly wish i know if i actually did like him,
or at least if he liked me at some point, bc like- -
we held hands. we f---ing held hands, and i literally talked abt it, two, three years ago on here in my old vent thread-
istg, i better not have just made that s--- up to myself :’) -
istg we did, tho- and we’d also like, kinda cuddle on the couch? i srsly can’t remember too well, but istg we did-
-
when i talk to you,
oh cupid walks right thru,
and shoots an arrow thru my heart-
and i sound like a loon,
but don’t you feel it, too?
confessed i loved you from the start~ -
i wanna know if my parents are homophobic, like genuinely-
-
like, i’m not gay or anything (altho i won’t lie, i have had questions abt sexuality stuff, mostly in the ace spectrum, but idk if it actually is bc maybe i’m just reading way too into it?) but like, i have a friend who’s bi. my mom doesn’t know she’s bi, and like, i just wonder what she’d do if she were to find out.
bc i used to be in public school, but then she pulled me out, one, because the way the teachers were teaching after the covid ‘stay home’ restrictions loosened a bit and everyone was doing hybrid school, it was really hard on me and homschooling definitely helped a lot, and two, i had made friends with some people in my classes, like, i made four close friends, and all of them were gay in some way, shape or form. but as soon as my mom found out i was talking to someone who was gay and JOKINGLY said “ha, ngl i get why you would think i’m bi, i definitely look it-“ after she asked me if i was.
like, b---- wtaf- i’m making friends, and then i get f---ing stripped of them? what the actual f---. -
and like, i haven’t seen any of them in like, three years all because of her pulling me out-
which ngl, kinda sucks, i wish i coulda stayed close with them, but if i did, i’d get in trouble for no f---ing reason. -
and like, i don’t know what her f---ing deal is, i literally have a gay uncle on my dad’s side-
like, b---- please, you can’t get mad at me for being friends with a gay person when we’re literally both related to one- -
it just- urks me to no end.
and yet i’m still terrified of the possibility of figuring out i am indeed gay or bi or trans or anything in the umbrella and having to come out to my parents and risk them hating me for the rest of my f---ing life…
like, i honestly wouldn’t care if i found out i liked girls or thought i was a different gender, but-
i don’t want my parents to hate me… -
god, i need someone to talk to…
-
i genuinely wouldn’t mind like, exploring it or anything,
i just don’t want to have to live in fear of my family hating me if i ever did decide to… -
idk, maybe i’m exaggerating, or making up smth that’s not even true about my identity, but-
yeah, i just- idk :’)
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