Safe Place
- Locked due to inactivity on Feb 4, '24 3:54am
Thread Topic: Safe Place
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cheese lettuce meat potato p o t a t tomato yeezys
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one thing to help me comfort other ppl is thinking of what i would want 2 be told relating 2 past experiences
helped me learn when sum1’s wanting to commit die, u don’t say “but what about (insert name of close person of theirs)” bc it jus puts a huge guilt on their shoulders. u don’t say “but you have so much to live for” bc if they’re wanting to commit die in the first place, no, they don’t have a lot to live for and are obviously in a darker place
i think the best thing to say is “it’s your choice, but understand that i and others are always available to reach out to; we care for you” bc it’s not shoving a huge burden on their shoulders nd it’s letting them know that sum1 genuinely cares about them and is concerned for their wellbeing
a lot of ppl make the mistake of saying “it’s a sin”, or “you have so much to live for”, or “what about (insert person)? then they’ll want to commit die too” but it’s jus a heavier burden on them. it’s vital understanding what they’re feeling in the moment, stepping in their shoes, and saying what you’d like to be said to you if you were in that moment -
or if you have a problem with imagining, try to relate the experience to the closest experience of yours and connect the emotions you felt in that moment and try to think that that’s what the person’s feeling, then try to think of what you would have liked to be said to you in that moment
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everyone’s different tho, sum ppl jus prefer silence
ex. 4 me, it makes me rlly uncomfortable when sum1 tries to comfort me nd i jus want them to leave nd get the f--- away nd jus let me deal w my own problems
sum ppl are like this while others prefer to be comforted, everyone has their own sense of comfort tho nd it’s important to keep in mind
i had a friend who was going through a rlly rough point in their life, but they didn’t like to be comforted
so instead i would leave smol notes in their bag w a gift complimenting them on smth or telling them jus how special nd dear they were
later on when they were through that rough point they told me it had helped them nd made them feel better majority of the time which i had learned from, nd now i use that tactic on ppl who hate comfort from other ppl through words nd touch
i had another friend who jus needed someone to listen to their problems, so i would lend an ear and afterwards they would thank me
other ppl prefer comfort over listening or small acts of integrity, nd that’s perfectly fine bc everyone’s comfort style is unique nd different -
when sum1 tells me their problems irl, the first thing ill ask is “are u looking for sum1 to listen or to comfort” bc u wanna be sure what the person is looking for to touch the subject more strategically nd softly
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*to comfort you
idk how i forgot to add *you* but i managed to get partial dementia -
another thingamajig i learned is to NEVER add humor when listening/comforting sum1 who’s venting
there’s appropriate moments for jokes and there’s inappropriate moments, category a and b, 1 and 2, simple as that. when someone’s venting that’s a very inappropriate moments bc it can make u seem like u don’t give a s--- abt their problems -
actually ppl don’t rlly care about other ppl or their problems bc they’re so focused on themselves so that’s kinda a bs post :/
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i think im talking to the shadow on my wall 💀 i have no friends LMAOAOAOAOO
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im still unsure of why i can’t build connections with any1. like it feels like there’s a barrier preventing me from becoming attached to them, leading me to become solely detached
im not rlly complaining tho, i love the feeling of not having to go through becoming detached again but im jus confused as of why the inability to build a close connection to sum1 happened so suddenly -
i suppose it’s more so described as detached from everyone and stuck in one’s own reality, though at times it feels like im living in a third perspective and examining my life from the outside as if i were one of these people i too can’t become close to despite them becoming close to me
compare and contrast to a narrator, separate from the story. it tells the story, though it doesn’t interact with the characters. it observes and examines, narrates, though can’t become attached. it’s not biased
that’s what it feels like, like im the narrator watching my own story unfold, stuck in a third perspective and narrating though not feeling any relations -
but the more i set my mind to it, the more i think of when it’s not been like this
it felt sudden, but was it really? i can’t remember
i used to be so empathetic to other ppl, but now i jus avoid everyone so to not deal w them. i started lashing out at my family so i jus isolate myself to prevent it -
s---
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bonk
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bonk
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