Safe Place
- Locked due to inactivity on Feb 4, '24 3:54am
Thread Topic: Safe Place
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D: espie are you ok
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đź‘€ ofc, i was simply rearranging the alphabet 72 millenniums last night for future reference
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AAAAÆEEEEEEEEEEEE
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coincidentally i jus realized how to pronounce æ
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Æ
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mUSIK
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sum ppl rlly get under my nerves
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i rlly don’t understand the concept of copying other ppl jus to make an image 4 urself
like ur pretty much becoming a parrot lmfao and that kinda makes ppl like u much much less
like if u wanna be sum1, jus be urself
i get trying to find who u are, but i think it’s about weaving through dif things to find what suits w YOU, not copying every person’s words or making urself look like them
i used to have a fren that did this, we were best frens for a while but then she kinda started to copy me. i don’t mean like the average “copy joke tell it to sum1 else” which i would’ve been fine w bc it jus means sum1 looks up to u, i mean it went from that, to copying my outfits, to copying the music i listened to, to getting the same haircuts, to where she was literally a mirror
and what’s worse is that she’d tell ppl i copied HER nd made me look bad, so i started telling her i was getting sum stuff nd ended up never getting it, which ofc she got thinking i was gon get it
i blocked her a bit later, but key reason i hate ppl who copy bc it’s kinda a red flag 2 me bc it’s a sign they’re either rlly insecure to where they’re trying to BECOME sum1 else in all the wrong ways, and 2 it might jus get like 10x worse
im dealing w that w another fren rn, we’ve been frens for like 4 or 5 years nd they’re probs the only person i have rlly close contact w. but they started copying me recently, and again like the last girl, are making it seem like they were the first ones to “discover it” and that “i copied them” and it’s so infuriating -
sheesh i think i wrote a la recherche du temps perdu
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jus wish i didnt screw everything up, then i might have been in a better place ^^
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i hurt a lot of ppl by pushing them away, i feel awful for it
i spose mistakes are used for future references tho. i need to quit pushing ppl away -
i respect nd accept that i have flaws as does everyone else, its natural for humans to make mistakes
thing is ive redone the same mistakes countless times, and sometimes i havent even learned any lessons from them -
i jus need to work on bettering myself as a whole to be more kind, empathetic, nd more in touch w other ppl bc i feel so detached
sometimes it'll feel like i can't even make any personal connections w anyone, even if they think we have a personal connection and i convince myself we do. even if its not true -
ive explained it as a bubble, but thats what it feels like. like there's all these romance novels, all these songs about a close friend, all these pairs of ppl and you just feel completely separated from them bc u cant understand the personal level of connection they have w eachother
to blend in you yourself try to find your own little buddy. but there's no spark, you barely even understand it. its just a blended pocket to camouflage with everyone else
i need to give it more recognition. ive tried to get connections w ppl but it barely works out, i jus feel detached
and i hate leaving them bc it leaves this guilt on my shoulders, like a weight dragging me down to sea to drown me in my fears
i hate hurting ppl but its so hard to avoid it -
like i feel this rlly strong need for a close connection, but i jus have a tendency to push ppl away to avoid it as a whole
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