What a dirty family.
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:17pm
Thread Topic: What a dirty family.
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Guy walks into a bar, and sees a jar full of money next to the bartender. The guy asks the bartender what the money is for. "I got a horse in the back. If you can make him laugh, you get all the money in this jar. Five dollar deposit if you wanna try." The guy is feeling confident, so he hands over his cash and walks into the back room. 30 seconds later, the horse stumbles out, laughing hysterically. The barkeep is stunned, and gives the guy his just reward.
The next day, the same guy walks into the bar. The barkeep has another jar full of cash. The guy makes his inquiry. "Okay, hotshot." the barkeep says, "This time, you gotta make my horse cry. Twenty bucks, up front." Guy smiles, hands over a twenty, and walks into the back. Once again, the horse near instantly emerges, this time bawling his little horsey eyes out. "How the hell did you do that!?" the barkeep exclaims. "Easy." the guy says, "Yesterday, I told the horse that my d--- was bigger than his. Today, I proved it." -
Ok so a boy named billy learns about god for the first time in church. So, after that on the car ride home with his father he asks if god is a Man, or a Women. His father says, well I guess God can be classified as both. So Billy thinks about this for a long time. When they get home about a half an hour later, Billy asks his father again, if God is Black, or White. Billy's father stumbles over his words and says, "You know, He is both son. He made Men, and Women both black and white." So Billy thinks real hard for about a minute, and asks his father 1 more question. Is God Micheal Jackson?
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LMAO @ BOTH STORIES
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@Ting Even I laughed. xD And I rarely do.
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BAHAHAHA I've been upset these past days and it's hard to get a smile out of me so this was awesome xD
1st story: laughed out loud
2. smiled
3. *giggled* -
Well I'm glad it's brighting your mood. ^-^
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Story 1: smiled
Story 2: giggled
Story 3: laughed, even if I'd already heard it.
Nice! -
Little Johnny asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom and she said yes. When he went to wipe his fanny, and there was no toilet paper so he used his hand.
When he got back to class, his Teacher asked, "What do you have in your hand?"
Little Johnny said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hand he'll get scared away."
He was then sent to the principals office and the Principal asked him, "What do you have in your hand?"
So, Little Johnny said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hand he'll get scared away."
He was sent home and his Mom asked him, "What do you have in your hand?"
Little Johnny said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away."
He was then sent to his room and told to stay there till his Dad came home. His dad came home, went upstairs and said to Little Johnny, "What do you have in your hand?"
So again Little Johnny said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hand he get scared away."
Then his Dad got really mad and yelled, "Open your hand!"
Little Johnny opened his hand and said, "Look Dad you scared the s--- out of him!" -
LOLEW.
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Little Johnny was in school one day.
Teacher asks, "Class, who was the first to discover America?"
Johnny says, "The Indians!"
"Actually, it was Chistopher Columbus, Johnny.", said the teacher, smiling. "But I like the way you're thinking."
Little Johnny gets pissed. "Let me ask you a question. Three women walk out of an ice cream shoppe. One licks their ice cream, one sucks their ice cream, and the other one bites their ice cream. Which one of them is married?"
The teacher blushes fervently. "Uh...I would say the one who sucked the ice cream."
"Actually, it's the woman with the wedding ring, but I like the way you're thinking." -
What do you call a black guy that can fly a plane?
A pilot you f---ing racist. -
LOLOLOLOL AT ALL OF EM
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This next ine I'll say is a little lame. ._.
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A duck walks into a drug store, to buy some chapstick. When the cashier asks him for money, he says "Just put it on my bill!"
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There were 2 muffins in an oven. One muffin said "It sure is hot in here." The other replied with "Holy s---, a talking muffin!"
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