Hey Alana, I'm sorry I keep bothering you, But-
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:16pm
Thread Topic: Hey Alana, I'm sorry I keep bothering you, But-
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"T... she..." My tongue froze. My body stiff. One more thing I have to f---ing cope with.
"Cancer... of the... the..." -
My eyes widened and the tears started to fall. "Of the... what?..." I curled up into a ball, sobbing. This couldn't be happening. Tammy... She was such a great person. She COULDN'T die... She couldn't...
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"The... brain." Immediately, one thought pushed itself to the front of the thought list in my head.
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"No.... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...." I sobbed. God, how could you? How could you choose Tammy to present this burden to?! How!!!? I shook my head, burying my face in my hands. It was at this moment that I lost faith. I lost all hope and belief. If this was real, if Tammy actually had brain cancer... There was no God. He didn't exist. Because if he did, he would have never given such a pure, innocent person such a horrible thing. There was no God. Because no respectable God would ever do this to her.
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Theist conversion...
I poured myself a glass of Scotch and downed it. I don't want to feel anymore
Page 14, think its gotten 'worse'? -
Hum. I know. But this was, as they call it, 'the last straw'. Like how Shays' Rebellion was the last straw that wrecked The Articles of Confederation. Sam's reflecting on everything that's happened throughout this time period and then coming to a conclusion that God doesn't exist.
I just sat there on the kitchen, sobbing, remembering how I used to hate Tammy for trying to replace Mom. But she never did that... She only wanted to help ease the pain for us by filling in the empty mom slot... I shook my head in shame and anger. -
Whut...
So, that's what I started aiming toward, just drinking one after the other while Sam sobbed. I would miss Tammy... I'd miss everything about her... her cooking, her humor, the night we went out for dinner, absolutely everything. -
All of the events slowly caused her to lose faith in herself and in God and everything. And this was the thing that ran it home. Y'know?
But she wasn't dead yet... She still had some time left... "Randy." I whispered. "Randy!" I now shouted. "The phone! Tammy's still on the... phone..." -
Oh, I see. Yay for idiot terms!
I stopped before I had another. "Hows that gonna help?" -
I bit my lip and snatched up the phone. The line was dead... It reminded me of a heart monitor... Flatlining... I slammed the phone down on the ground, causing the batteries to spill out.
"Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's because she's slowly dying and all we're doing is crying our eyes out when we should be, hmm. Let's see here. SPENDING TIME WITH HER." My voice, dripping with sarcasm, slurred up and down, though I hadn't touched any alcohol at all. -
"Great f---ing time to be sarcastic!" Look at us! Fighting when our mother is dying.
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I could feel the anger boiling up inside of me. I was about to blow my top. "My f---ing LORD, Randy..." I snarled. I stormed out the front door, not bothering to grab my phone or my coat. I wouldn't need them. I had the car keys. Not that I had my licence but... Well, the cops wouldn't need to know.
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I rushed after her, grabbing at her shirt. "Sam," I said, almost emotionless.
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"No." I snapped. I stopped dead in my tracks. "Where the hell's the car!? DAMN IT!" I thrust the keys onto the pavement. "s---, s---, s---..."
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I let go, horrified. This wasnt my sister anymore. She... she had.. disappeared.
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