Harmony's Hideout
Thread Topic: Harmony's Hideout
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i left work early today and was feeling super guilty about it myself.. i hate the work culture our society has built, that if you're not apart of the race (aka being a good little working machine everyday) you're not contributing to anything
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all i wanted to say is you're not alone
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Appreciated.
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I didn't go to work today. As expected, I feel horrible. I don't know what to do with myself. There are things I would do on a normal day off, but I don't want to do them because it feels wrong to take the day off just to do something much less important than work.
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I've been forcing myself to eat since yesterday afternoon. The food, no matter what I eat, is bland. My taste buds just aren't working. I put extra salt on my food and I only tasted the salt and peppers. Now I feel like I had too much salt and still not enough flavor. Everything tastes bland when I'm depressed.
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I haven't had the will to do much of anything today. I just feel completely empty. I don't feel inside my body. It's like I'm constantly floating outside of it and just feel so distant.
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The good news is that I have therapy today.
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How do I stop feeling guilty about having to take care of myself?
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I am just not in a good state of mind today. I've been losing time doing nothing. I can't recall what I've been doing while I'm awake.
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I feel an extreme hatred towards myself.
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I also feel physically exhausted.
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I feel like I'm trapped in a nightmare. I feel frozen inside. My body moves but I can't control anything.
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I'm really just trying to make it until therapy. That's all.
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I feel calmer now. I just needed to do something to try to settle my nerves. We can get this worked out. It'll be okay. I just need some time...
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I'd feel best if I had my meds, though. I missed the chance to get them this morning because I fell back asleep.
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