butt baby
- Locked due to inactivity on Mar 23, '22 3:54am
Thread Topic: butt baby
-
I almost started crying and I think I need to go to bed but this week was a bad week and I need to put it behind me but the thing is I never let go of anything
-
Now I'm actually crying but all I did was think about certain foods and it stressed me out and then I found out that we're having something I don't like for dinner and it somehow just put me in an even worse state even though it shouldn't bother me this much
-
But I was just really hoping for a good dinner night because I'm so stressed about the assignment the OT gave me about food
-
And I can't really explain it to my grandma because she won't understand why I'm getting so upset about it
-
Ah yes back to this
-
For one day can I be a real person thank you
-
Idk I was doing so well the past couple of days
I can't tell but I do think my brother calling me unstable started to trigger unhealthy thought patterns -
It's such a bizarre trigger and I think it stems from constantly thinking I'm crazy because of things in my life that I can't tell were real or not because my head is all f---ed
-
And it also reminds me that I'm not a real person
I mean like I have no individuality -
I just change my personality to one I see fit for the situation, so at the end of the day, there's nothing there
-
But then sometimes I think I'm so different and unique that I'm just impossible for other people to get to the point that when someone says they understand I get my panties in a twist and mentally be on the offense
-
I just can't pick what I want because parts of me want both of the options
-
And I don't understand how so many people can just...be. It frustrates and baffles me. How can you just make yourself you? The amount of choices and decisions that go into it- why can it come so naturally to people?
More importantly, why can't I have a 'you'? What factor made it so that I completely don't have it?
I know everyone says the answer is obvious. It's my fault I don't have a 'you'. But I don't know how the f--- I even did that! And no matter how much I look into myself, I can't undo whatever the f--- I apparently did. I find nothing of use. Did I hit my head after getting rid of my 'you'?
It seems everything in the world just is my fault. -
All they do is f---ing fight and I'm so f---ing over it
-
I literally can't wait for them to die
This thread is locked, therefore no new posts can be made.
