butt baby
- Locked due to inactivity on Mar 23, '22 3:54am
Thread Topic: butt baby
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But it's okay I'll find something else
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Was that really me two hours ago? Where is she now? Come back!
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Or don't. My therapist said I'm confused and need to decide on what I want to do. If I want to help myself or keep myself in this place
and I just remembered it and I'm freaking out because that requires me to make a decision and I might cry I hate making decisions because I might make the wrong one -
BECAUSE I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT EXACTLY IS WRONG AND I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND
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Why cant it be like a medical thing where they can test me for stuff and tell me!!! How am I supposed to know if its actually taking over my life or if I'm pretending and none of this is a big deal?
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Wtf am I supposed to do??!! I can't tell I don't know
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I cleaned my room today, I'm not completely done, but I can actually see my floor so it's weird. I have so much floor.
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I did stuff today so that's a good
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Feel good
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Leave me alone I'm begging you just let me leave the f---ing program
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I don't care about doing it properly DMH says to kick me out so kick me out
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I need to do better.
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But everything is just not enough. At least I found out why I feel so unbalanced.
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And it sucks because I know it never will be. It's just never enough. And I can't be happy with myself physically. Because the biggest issue I have with my body, isn't that I'm not skinny, or not very tall, or overall not very pretty. My real issue, is that this body is mine. For me to love it, it can't be made out of me. And well, that's impossible
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It gives me this weird fantasy that I can't get rid of. I have a mostly robotic body in it. And because I'm finally more robot than Pag, it make me feel free and finally happy. Idk if that's normal
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