The Internet Has Ruined Me.
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 21, '21 3:54am
Thread Topic: The Internet Has Ruined Me.
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Jared: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I’ve killed anybody. I’m not an arsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.
Evan: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that. -
Connor, addressing the squad: And if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box.
Jared: But – that’s just a trash can.
Connor: It sure is! -
Evan: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.
Jared: You're like 15 years old
Evan: I MIGHT DIE AT 30! -
Connor: Someone will die.
Evan: Of fun! -
Jared: I was thinking I'd do some magic-
Connor: You? Magic? Jared, it says talent show. -
Evan: Connor . . . Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?
Connor: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.
Evan:
Evan: I wrote sanitize, Connor. -
Jared: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars.
Connor: If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the d-mn sky they will be removed indefinitely from my life. -
Evan: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume?
Jared: *chugs entire bottle*
Jared: It’s perfume. -
bored
anyone wanna RP?
Connor: I'm incredibly fast at math.
Evan: Alright, what's 30x17?
Connor: 47
Evan: That's not even close.
Connor: But it was fast. -
Michael: What if the 'g' in 'gif' is silent?
Jeremy: Go the f--- to sleep.
Michael: What gif I don't want to?
Jeremy: f--- You. -
Connor: I prevented a murder today.
Evan: Really? How’d you do that?
Connor: self control. -
Connor: Evan! My face is on fire!
Evan: Connor! Are you ok?!
Connor: Oh yes, I'm fine. I just said that to make sure you'd come in here quickly.
Evan: But your face is on fire.
Connor: Yes. It's much faster than shaving. -
Jared: Hey Connor can I get a sip of your water?
Connor: It's not water.
Jared: Vodka, I like your style!
Connor: It's vinegar.
Jared: Wh-Wha-
Connor: It's vinegar, COWARD. -
Connor: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*
Evan: What did you do?
Connor: Nobody died.
Evan: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?! -
Connor: Change is inedible.
Evan: Don't you mean inevitable?
Connor, spitting out coins: No, I did not.
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