my new official thread.
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:33pm
Thread Topic: my new official thread.
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You asked for help a little while ago. Is there any way I can help you?
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I did?
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Oh right.
If you think you can help. But most of this is a battle that I fight alone. -
Well, define "asked for", I suppose. You stated that you need help.
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Right...
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Alright. Let's start here, then. What's bothering you?
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Nothing is really "bothering" me, or at least not in terms of things other than myself. What is wrong with me is too hard to explain. It's like describing the structure of a cell, it seems small but it is really complex.
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Okay. So the problems you're having with yourself. Can you elaborate at all? Do they have to do with your self-image, your emotions...?
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The problem mainly reflects on my personal vendettas. I can't socialize to hardly anyone, I hate my life, my education is increasing more difficult since I left for a week and now must cram an immense amount of knowledge into my brain in a short amount of time to catch up. All this has caused me severe anxiety, my heart rate is constantly spiking.
My personal moral drives lead me to an uncontrollable urge to help & fix everything/everybody, and since I feel like I am failing at this I can't find any tangeble reason to live.
not to mention the fact that I have conditioned myself into an emo & suicidal mind frame that controls my life and pursues me to take the next step further in this destructive and foolish lifestyle that I can't break away from. -
I'm going to tackle this with bullets, if you don't mind.
Why can't you socialize?
What do you hate your life?
I know that's some difficult s--- to catch up with, and it's going to stress you the f--- out for the time being. You've got to try and keep calm. You can do it. Tell yourself that. Don't forget. It's going to be hard for about a week, but after that, you should be back on track. The anxiety is a bit harder to dismiss than that. It helps to have someone to talk to. Someone who wants to invest the time in helping you, not just someone who wouldn't be able to call themselves a good person anymore if they didn't sit down and pretend to want to help you sort your s--- out. It helps to have music that helps to improve your mood and to have a safe place. Somewhere comfortable with nothing too stressful around. Try and find the things that help the panic. What temperature you prefer, noise level, amount of light, everything, and make sure it's all accounted for with your safe place.
That's a mad cool way to go about s---, yo. Most people don't give a f--- about anyone but themselves. In your case, though, not seeing the value in yourself at all is going to be problematic. Other people can't be the center of your existence. They have a way of letting you down. It's really amazing to want to help people, but at the end of the day, you have to recognize that you deserve the same kindness you show other people. You have to want something for yourself.
How does one condition themselves into an emotional/suicidal mind frame? That really gets me. What kind of things are you thinking about? -
Because people hurt me when I do.
Because I can't do anything right and I am always the reason that things get messed up, I am sick of trying to do things right when I know I am just going to mess it up in the end. Also because I hate the fact that I was given a great physical life whilst everyone else I care about seems to have a horrible one.
I know, but it is easy we said than done.
I have attempted to cope my anxiety by telling myself that it is completely psychological, it is helping a lot but I still need someone to talk to about it when I my psychology isn't strong enough to overcome it. I won't turn to music, I did it before and it is half the reason I have fallen this far.
I can't physically not help people, I have really strong abnegation rooted genes that kill me if I can't fix people. I do have selfish drives but I curve them.
Well this one is tricky, you see it really started when I became rebellious against my roots and foundation, but it really started to take place when I wanted to relate to my friends who were emotional/suicidal, basically my urge to be able to help people made me turn to being able to relate and connect with them and I find that there were better ways to go about that I am in this ditch. Hard hitting secular music played a major role in this though.
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^Stupid emoji
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In what way?
"I can't do anything right" and "I always mess things up" are both pretty absolute. There are things you can do. You know there are. Assuming I'm a completely nonjudgmental motherf---er that just wants to see you love yourself a little bit, if you weren't looking to appear humble, what would you say you're good at? As for feeling bad that other people aren't as well off as you, I can't say much. Empathy can suck sometimes. You can't help the kind of life you or anyone else were given, but you can try and reach out and benefit their lives somehow.
I know it is. All I can say is work hard. Manage the stress somehow until you've caught up. You'll have to suck it up for a while.
That actually works? Damn. That's pretty rad. But yes, having someone to talk to would probably benefit you. Do you have anyone you feel legitimately cares about your emotional wellbeing over there? Enough to listen to these problems and make a valid effort to help?
Really? What kind of music have you been listening to? .-.
I'm not saying not to help people. I'm saying that helping people can't be your only purpose in life. They won't give back to you, so if they're not looking out for you and you're not looking out for you, you're being neglected completely. You can afford to be a little selfish. Take care of yourself.
Seriously? You empathized yourself into becoming emo? Goddamn. That's impressive. I'm not sure what to say to that. Do your friends that you're trying to help know that this has hurt you? -
I have nothing else to say on this one, I have some friends that I can talk openly to and that it's all that matters.
Absolutely, but this downstairs mean that I can't keep trying to be a better person.
Okay,
Apparently, I have been able to stay emotionally stable all day and I think I have only uncontrollably spiked twice today. I have a friend who I have known since preschool, I have spoken to her and she told me that she will keep better contact with me to make sure I don't do anything dumb. In fact I have opened up to her about my whole dialog of problems and she was there for emotional support.
This might not seem that bad, but it hurt more than it helped when I listened to Rhianna's love the way you lie obsessively and slowly started weaving myself into skillet.
I don't know, I honestly don't posess average drives like the urge to marry or grow old, I could care less if I died tomorrow and unless someone is out in my life, I don't find the need to settle down and get married. I have already detected my life to helping people and I honestly don't care if I never receive anything in return.
Yes, in fact I am talking to them about it right now. -
Alright. I'm glad you think so.
I'm sorry, what?
Oh, that's good. That's really good. That sounds like a decent person.
I mean.. I love that song, as covered by a few different artists, but the song is about an abusive relationship, after all. There's nothing healthy or therapeutic about it. You need music that calms you. I'd suggest Of Monsters and Men. My moirail got me into them, and I find that their music really helps calm me down when I'm panicking, and picks me up when I'm sad.
How are you supposed to help other people if you refuse to help yourself? Feeling the way you do is not productive, Wendee. It stops you from reaching a lot of your potential. It slows you down. I guarantee that having a healthy perception of yourself would make helping others a lot easier for you.
And how do they feel about it?
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