my new official thread.
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:33pm
Thread Topic: my new official thread.
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*sigh* I didn't think so...
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I guess the other official thread was lame.
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Which one was that?
I made this one because I don't remember my other thread, -
It was Vanilla's Thread or something like that. :/
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Oh yeah, I left that one on bad terms and memorys that I want to forget
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I forgot! I have Spotify.
One moment... -
I am going to the drive in theater for my birthday tonight.
Today is my last day being thirteen, -
Hello.
Wait really? Your birthday is tomorrow then? -
Hi
Yes. May third, -
Awesome.
Happy early birthday
I hope it's a good one for you :D -
Awesome?
Thanks. (yummy virtual cake)
I do too, -
So I have had time to think like a robber in jail. There for a long time without anything and filled with guilt.
Well I am eating skim tofu here and indulging in fake people who don't truly care about me. I don't think that there are any humans on this earth who can ever truly care for me the way I need to be loved and cared for. Only God. People sometimes delute me into thinking that they love or care for me because they care just barley enough to spark my attention. Those are the people who cause me the most grief to leave.
Those are some hints and advise. (Mainly pointed towards alex)
I am trying to make this post very long, and I wish to leave finally, and leave you all in this room where I stand now.
Sadly, I lack my usual quantum of words and derivitory speech so this might all sound simple.
Simplicity is good.
Who knows if today will be the day that I finally let go, I might be back tomorrow and pretend like today never happened. But I doubt it.
I have driven you all though the mud for too long,
I need to finally let go, and let you live without my burden and constant petty drama and problems.
I am officially fourteen. (Though I have claimed to be fourteen for months) so maybe this year can be my resolution where I get back into reading all the books that I love so much and indulge in increasing in knowledge and wisdom
I might request a memory wipe, and then one for all of you who might have cared.
I hope you all will be glad to be rid of me, though I realize that a few of you wont be.
This post isn't even a tenth of the way through.
I will now just fill this with random content and thoughts.
I wish I could know you on real life. In fact if I could I would find each one of you right now and spent the whole day at a park or something just getting to know you irl. (Although I can be a bit of a handful irl)
Like seriously though, I am not far from you guys now, I might ask my dad to drive me down to your houses and say hello.
I am so tiny in real life.
I am looking up how to say goodbye to someone you don't want to leave...
Here are some pieces of articles that kind of express all this.
It was the last one wed have just like that, with all of us in the same place and the same level of freedom and the same open future ahead of us. I would come back some day, yes, but nothing would be quite the same. And thats a good thing. Its always tinged with a certain sadness when groups of friends remain exactly the same over the course of a few years, but a selfish part of every person wants people to repeat themselves out of nostalgia. You want to put everything into a little music box and open it up at will, seeing the tiny dancers spinning just the way they were when you left them.
When the party was over, I wondered how many of these people I would really never see again. I picked up my belongings and walked as slowly as possible to the door, counting every step to see how long I could make the exit last. And while I knew, on some level, that many of the goodbyes I had said were permanent ones, I thought it better to assume that I would see all of them again some day, even in the same room. It seemed a better way to live life, imagining that your next reunion is just around the corner, and that your story will never have to come to a real ending.
"We will never see the world the same way, and closing the door on someones chapter means committing it officially to memory that its no longer an organic, living thing."
Ah ha, I have no idea what I am posting now, just that I am determined to fill this up and make it long.
You are a really good person, and I am glad I got to know you.
Please don't respond to this. I always come back to see what you guys respond after this and I drives me back.
Crazy links I found. I think I will read through them and use them for future reference.
It's funny, I think that I have more seriously considered suicide when I went to my grandpas funeral.
. One of the easiest ways to realize that you are in love is by scrolling through love quotes. I have read through a thousand lists of cute things to say and quotes, but none of them perfectly describes exactly how I feel for you.
That was a cool thing that I saw.
Don't hate me if you never see me again. Just. Be. Glad.
I will probably most likely go insane these next few days trying not to come on here. I will also probably most likely throw my tablet out a two story window and sit on my bed and cry until I can't cry anymore.
Sadly, a lot of this is just random things that I found on the Internet because I literal cannot find anything to say. But when I do find something in my heart to say it feels meaningful.
The.
post.
is
still
Not
long
enough.
Like seriously actually listen to these. They kinda sorta describe how I have been feeling.
Sorry, I am too tired to think of any other songs.
I need real help
I might get into a reading fad where I sit and read all day long and cry my eyes out.
I am done. No more.
Sitting here defining everything I know I need to do.
I literally won't allow myself to think. Thinking is too painful.
Again, because that song is just my song.
I am not doing personal final words because I have already done that a million times and if you want final words find my shoutout quiz.
I don't matter though, I am just another person.
California is hot.
I swear that is the last time I will post that song. But seriously, I am so happy that was on the playlist.
What else can I say.
Maybe I should punch something really hard until it bleeds and hurts.Or just until it gets how the hell I get over this dumb thing.
Maybe that is why I keep having the urge to hurt you guys.
I think I will go find a kitten and drown it.
Or hit myself with this rock in my pocket.
I can't find any Ligit reason as for why I am the way I am.
But for Christ's sake alex. I really need you to be a Christian and I won't be here to fix that. But fix it quick because you don't get how little time you have to do it.
Gosh
Well that is it I guess. Now I will go tell millions of people about what is happening...but not until I cope with how I pressed the submit button for this.
Maybe I will be bold one last time...
Alex I really really like you and I am killing myself staying here hurting you. You would say that my leaving would hurt you more. I can live with that, and if I can't well...
Have a good life peoples. -
Oh, and here is that shout out quiz.
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Yah know? I am feeling very candor so now I am going to say a lot of things that I swear are dead honest and will probably keep me off for good.
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