Vent thread I'll probably forget about
Thread Topic: Vent thread I'll probably forget about
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Hopefully I'm worrying about nothing-
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Help my biology teacher told me he was proud of me-
holy s--- that might be the best compliment I've been told by an adult-
I didn't even do anything super noteworthy either man he's just being a nice teacher lol -
Note to self: Rub lavender oil on your wrists. Not just for tHAt but also because it just calms you down really easily
Granted it's also a really strong smell so don't put too much of it on at a time, but still -
I'm actually stupid
I have a vent journal now bc I don't want to post on here and worry people all the time and I don't see my therapist a ton, and I made a thing where I add a song lyric at the top so it's almost like a chapter thingy and plus it'll make me feel less alone if a singer relates, but now I can't write anything in it unless I find a song that matches the feeling xD -
I'm sure normal people do this-
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Omg literally everyone was on spotify making vent playlists last night-
I mean, myself included, but still, literally EVERYONE was stalking each others vent playlists and making vent playlists-
Normal people things I'm sure :D -
I think I lowkey hate myself
Ugh my vent playlists aren't helping because my music taste is literal s--- and I miss my old music taste when I could listen to music and not overthink the message of it and just be able to relax and fall asleep and ack -
And I hate venting about how I feel alone because I'm literally not- like it sucks saying this because I sound narcissistic saying this, but I'm one of the more popular kids at school. Like, in my school, the theater kids run the place (somehow). It's not like I'm constantly bullied or harassed, because the people who would normally bully me are my neighbors, and I'm friends with their older siblings (perks of acting older than you are around people lol). Idk I just feel alone.
Like, at school I act like I know absolutely everyone because I kinda do, and then I go home and I'm completely a l o n e. It sucks -
I probably just need another therapy appointment tbh. It's been a hot minute since I've had one
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it's fine chat I'm just taking all my friends and people that care about me for granted as usual because if I don't care about myself and what happens to me, no one should
Jesus christ I probably need to get tested for depression- -
Church was actually insane today-
First off everyone was crying because of a reason I'm not going to say because it's like way too triggering and sad and second off mister old man do not f---ing go near me again you creep -
I should not have read that chapter today-
All Boys Aren't Blue is one of the best books ever but you have to be in the best headspace to read it or else you'll be wrecked for the rest of the day and I was NOT prepared for that chapter (the chapter is Losing Hope btw so iykyk) -
Istg if I have another panic attack/indecision moment over religion I'm actually going to lose it
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Chat it's fine I'm just losing my mental stability because of yesterday- and because of today, and because of everything and because of mr old man and OtHeR tHinGs I'm refusing to talk about (nothing that happened to me, don't worry about my health lol)
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I'm so stupid and selfish for making this about myself, good f---ing god-
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