Safe Place
- Locked due to inactivity on Feb 4, '24 3:54am
Thread Topic: Safe Place
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interesting notions to pass by at least
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i feel a bit better :] i probably just needed to talk myself through it.
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currently, im not that adversely affected by the concept of death. i wouldn’t say that im particularly scared, but it’s definitely a freaky thought, imagining what it’ll be like not to exist. it’s kind of an oxymoronic question really when you think about it, but i get it’s weird to imagine not being alive. at the same time i would say that im scared of living a life that would not result in me looking back on all my years thinking that it was a good life and that i did what i wanted to do, being at peace with death. that leads to another question though; are people scared of the concept of death or the concept of living a life that fulfills no purpose?
ive spoken to people who have lived a complete life and were about ready to say ‘alright, this was a good life’. my grandmother for instance, she’s in her early to late 80s and has never been in a happier point in her life. there’s been a lot of ups and downs, and a whole lot has happened; 80 years is a long time, yet im confident that she would say ‘im very happy with how life has treated me’. im not saying she’s about to go over the rainbow or anything, she’s healthy as can be, but as you age and change and gain new experiences you come to realize that death is merely the finish line. everyone will finish the marathon of life, and hopefully everyone gets a chance to run for a long time but it’s not something to be scared of. -
i believe what i need to do is to live a life that makes running that race worth it. sometimes that race is gonna suck, and you twist your ankle, slow down for a
while but you should never stop. imagine, about to cross that finish line and you look back on that giant road and you say ‘alright, that was worth it’. since the dawn of humanity, it seems, people have been seeking eternal life; fountain of youth or some nonexistent perfect elixir that’ll make you live forever. it's such an alluring thought, to enjoy life forever, but what's the one thing that everyone can rely on to make life meaningful? it's death. if there's no end point everything is reduced to zero, no consequences, no real responsibilities, it's like you're in a game and you go into god mode. in any game though, it gets demotivating once you max out all your stats, your tools, your properties. it’s because there's no risk of death anymore. having consequences in a defined finish line, and responsibilities, they seem like a reason to get up in the morning. it’s all important to coming to peace with death. it won’t matter if you’re dead, but i believe there’s tremendous peace in knowing that despite death knocking at your door, that you lived a life worth living for. -
i sound like a wet cheeseball i probably shouldn’t post when im tired lmao
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goodnight :]
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workout's def paying off, its like a way of beating urself up w/o beating urself up lmao, so u jus get all ur rage out and in the end it builds u up instead of tearing u down and making u lose seven braincells simultaneously and progressively
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muscles are ablittle more well defined since i started the routine, getting there lmao, even if its sluggish steps. not as shaky and fatigued constantly imo
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okay gn lmao, temporarily dying for the night *again*
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doing commissions now ! not jus art commissions, its literally anything and everything lmao, like scripting (cuz im learning lua code rn, not the best but then again i jus started like last week), developer commissions, designing commissions (ranging from clothes to art to ocs bla bla bla), etc etc n im getting stressed tf out cuz im jus hopping back n forth rn 💀 im getting paid tho so thats a plus in my book :]
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and yet the biggest peeve in this is transporting images
for a millisecond i thought i could transport images using discord but then i remembered gmail exists lmao -
also tryna learn how to use blender bc there's like an ungodly quantum amount of buttons
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im not sure why im posting lol i told myself id be taking a break
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apeirophobia genuinely has such interesting lore, that’s both pretty much the only game i play on roblox and the only reason i do because i find the story fairly eye-catching. its based off the backrooms but it has a lore and story manifested by itself
i usually take my time to study stories and break them into separate pieces to study what’s working for them and hopefully incorporate what’s working in a story id build some day. it’s hard to find decent stories that correlate together and genuinely make sense, built precisely and finely designed, rather than built forwards in a sloppy road-like manner if that makes sense. i feel like books with a bit of planning rather than books that start from ‘having a plot in mind’ and then just writing without thinking about future plots but instead present plots are much more satisfactorily intricate because any story, books, games, shows, etc need planning first and it’s honestly a peeve of mine when i or other people don’t plan -
i rarely get ideas for stories/plot designs. i mean genuinely decent ideas ; i get a lot of ideas frequently, but none of them really stick out to me. each one im just praying dear and high that ill improve my thought process to be a bit more intricate, blue-sky, and primary because dear god every idea i get i know someone else has received the idea. every plot, somewhere, someone has thought the same notion. that’s why it’s crucial to design it to be “original”, in a sense that it sticks out, but that’s what i struggle with
im loitering for the day and age when i might get a decent idea for a plot, and then i can start expanding, building a climax, etc etc. im not sure what to do with the time on my hands while i wait though
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