My Page :D
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:22pm
Thread Topic: My Page :D
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If only you saw the way I see myself. You'd hate me too..
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I wish You were awake cuz right now I don't know what's happening. I can't breathe I keep getting flashbacks and I'm scared to sleep porque when I go to sleep like this I have nightmares. I wish you were awake. I wish s--- didn't happen the way it did. I wish I never started to damage my body I wish you didn't do what you did and maybe right now we'd be on the phone talking . And maybe if be okay and not like this. I wish I could at least listen to you breathe. It eases off the pain it prevents the flashbacks. I wish you were awake .. I really need you.
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I wish it would all stop.
I wish you were awake.
I wish you didn't live so far away.
I wish we were in the same time zones..
We'd be falling asleep rn together..
I wish it was November
December
Or January
I wish it was like that..
But then I don't want it to be like in November
Because I don't wanna go through the same thing again..
I was scared..
Why'd you do it..?
How could I have known if you were successful ?
Idiot..
I just wanna stop it all, you know.?
I just gotta stop thinking
Cuz thinking leads to memories
And memories suck rn
I'm sorry
ILoveYou faggiiittt. Goodnight Princess. wake up soon. -
Yo home g :3
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"The so-called psychotically depressed person who tries to kill herself doesnt do so out of quote hopelessness or any abstract conviction that lifes assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fires flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. Its not desiring the fall; its terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling Dont! and Hang on!, can understand the jump. Not really. Youd have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling."
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I'm not her.
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Home Gurlll??? ;o
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Yes?
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YEEEEEEEEEE. YOU PROBABLY DUN REMEMBER MEH. XP *Huggles*
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I do actually. *Huggles back*
@AP I gotcha. Hello. -
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. XD *Is so happy right now* XDDDDDD
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I'm glad you're happy.
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"Why did she do it? Nobody dared to ask. Because - what courage! Who had the courage to burn herself? Twenty aspirin, a little slit alongside the veins of the arm, maybe even a bad half hour standing on a roof: We've all had those. And somewhat more dangerous things, like putting a gun in your mouth. But you put it there, you taste it, it's cold and greasy, your finger is on the trigger, and you find that a whole world lies between this moment and the moment you've been planning, when you'll pull the trigger. That world defeats you. You put the gun back in the drawer. You'll have to find another way.
What was that moment like for her? The moment she lit the match. Had she already tried roofs and guns and aspirins? Or was it just an inspiration?
I had an inspiration once. I woke up one morning and I knew that today I had to swallow fifty aspirin. It was my task: my job for the day. I lined them up on my desk and took them one by one, counting. But it's not the same as what she did. I could have stopped, at ten, or at thirty. And I could have done what I did do, which was go onto the street and faint. Fifty aspirin is a lot of aspirin, but going onto the street and fainting is like putting the gun back in the drawer.
She lit the match.
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I was I was brave enough to actually try to take my life away.
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And I mean, at the end of the day the only real monster is the one staring at Me when I look in the mirror.. so, please don't tell me to avoid it, that monsters aren't real because they are. I've seen it. Ive seen them. I've seen her.
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