My Page :D
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:22pm
Thread Topic: My Page :D
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Todaay sucks.
It's your birthday.
We broke up.
s---.
f---.
Bleh.
I just want today to be over with.
I hate today.
I hate yesterday even more.
I have therapy today.
I think I'm just gonna ditch it.
I don't feel like listening to other peoples problems.
It only f---s me up even more.
I should probably start taking my medication again.
Or something.
I need to be okay again.
I hope I don't give up till then.
I'm sorry bro for relapsing yesterday ..
It's almost the ninth.
I miss you bud..
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What have I become ?
I can't keep it in .
It wants to come out .
I can't keep it in .
It already hurt me once .
I can't keep it in .
It's clawing onto my skin .
I can't keep it in .
It's leaving me scars .
I can't keep it in .
It hurt me yesterday .
I can't keep it in .
I need my pilss. -
I f---ing hate you.
I f---ing hate you with a passion.
You're nothing but a liar.
A liar..
Why?
What did I ever do to you?
Why?
You're hurting me so bad..
It's my fault though, right?
But it's pathetic little me believing them.
I just hate you so much.
But I love you even more.
Haha.
f---. -
Dear Love,
I'm sorry I'm so f---ed up. If only you could read this. Would you? I mean, why even bother, huh? Why bother helping me when you could get anyone you like. Why bother staying with with.. me. Tf, are you thinking Fea? The stupid pills won't help for s---. I practically went all suicidal on you a couple hours ago. I slashed my legs. I'm just completely insane.. now. You should've just left. You should've not came back. I just I don f---ing now anymore. I don't know.. I don't know.. I probably whine too much. I don't know anymore. What I felt last year, it doesn't compare to what I feel right now. You know? I can't stand the sight of myself. I mean why would I. I have scars everywhere. I don't know. I wish you were here and not so far away. Maybe this.. Would be easier. I hope you don't ever find these. I hope I can sleep tonight. I need rest. I'm starting not to eat again. I should probably tell you, huh? I should just grow some damn balls and let you go. After all, I think you'd be happier with her. For some reason you went to her.. For some reason you cheated.. I mean for some reason you can't seem to let her go. For some reason you can't let me go. Why? What's so f---ing special about me that you can't forget me am just move on with her. I'm so f---ed up, babe. Lmfao. I mean .. I don't even know anymore. You're better off with her. But I don't wanna lose you. You see? If I cease to have you I lose everything. If you lose me you lose nothing. You get it? No? Yeah.. I'm a monster. I'm just worthless. I don't even know. Pathetic little me. I just. I'm a pathetic excuse for a f---ing human. My brain is all clogged. I'm sorry I'm so f---ed up. I'm just sorry for everything. I'm really sorry.. Just.. Idek anymore.. I.. I don't know.. G'night. I love you.. More than anything and anyone combined.
Sincerely ,
A Monster. -
SQUEEEE!!!
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Can I text you..
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Yess
Text this number tho
402-870-4686 -
Oops I called it .. But yeah okay. So if you got the uh call then yeah that's my number..
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I got the call
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Dear Love,
Baby? Imma be the best I can for you. Imma make you happy every minute of every single day, okay? I promise I'll be everything you want. Tell me what you want and I'll do it. I think I've found the 'one'. The one I wanna spend the rest of my life with. The one that I wanna make happy todos Los Dias, cada segundo. You're the one for me. My one and only. You're the one I wanna get married to. You're the last person I wanna get married to. You're gonna be the mother of our kids. I promise no matter what, no matter how mad, no matter how bad s--- gets, Imma stay with you till the end. Till one of us stops breathing. Till one of our hearts stops beating. I promise. Okay? We got through a lot in just seven months. And baby? It may not be a long time but it's my longest relationship. This is everything to me. I know we're young but I just know we can make. I know we can become something big. Something huge together. Just two more years and babe? Were gonna rule the whole f---ing world. It's me and you. Just me and you against everything. Like you said, let's forget the last, cuz were not living there. Let's live in the present, let's dream about the future. Beautiful? You're the best thing that has happened to me. That's why I plan to be the best for you. I want the best for our future children, for Oli an Lily and maybe Kian and Madeline. I want the best for everything. I won't leave. No matter how s--- gets. You know I'm here to stay. I think I've proven it to you. No matter what, I'll always be here. What were going through is temporarily , I know it's gonna suck but .. When we finally can talk to eachother how we used to Imma make you feel what I feel for you. Imma make you feel safe. Imma make you feel secure, loved, cared for, accepted, supported , Imma do whatever I can to make you happy and make you feel loved. Don't be sad. Don't cry.. I love you, okay? ILoveYou. I really do love you. Everything about you. You're just.. This broken person.. But Imma give you all the love and support to fix you okay? Imma fix you. I Promise. I promise everything okay? You're beautiful. You have a gorgeous smile, wear it more often babe. Imma go Mimis. ILoveYou. I hope you're sleeping well princess. Imma be dreaming of you. I hope you're doing the same. goodnight beautiful.
Sincerely,
Me. -
Awwww.
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Sorry.
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Sorry for what?
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Probably annoying so late. It's almost 3 am here and I can't sleep. So, yeah its probably annoying reading the letter thing.
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I never felt hatred,
until I look at myself in the mirror.
I saw the way my eyes grasped at this dull green colour,
I saw the way my face pieced together to form a monster.
I saw the way my body was set up, the way it moved,
the way it had been ripped so many times it barely looked human.
I never felt hatred till my eyes saw the real me.
Until my fingers traced the bumpy scars,
Until my nails picked at the extra skin
Until my eyes saw my legs,
Too thick, too big, too disgusting
I never felt hatred until I started to remember the old me
Until my mind was screaming bloody murder
Until my eyes stung from too much tears
Until I felt the innocence slip away
I never felt hatred until I was reminded I wasn't supposed to be this way
Perfect
That's what everyone wants
Perfect girlfriend
Perfect friend
Perfect daughter
Perfect student
Perfect human
I never felt hatred until I analyzed the real me..
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