No Subject
- Locked due to inactivity on Sep 24, '21 3:54am
Thread Topic: No Subject
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But my sibling?
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I can’t be taking care of a child that’s not mine when I myself am one strand away from completely eliminating myself from this planet. But if I leave I will get terminated and will no longer be able to interact
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You know the only reason I got assaulted when I was a kid was because my mom said if it wasn’t me it would be her. I never told anybody that not even the police officer.
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She knew and she said for me to go there. I’m sorry if that was too dark but I’ve never told anybody that in my life. I can’t keep that to myself anymore.
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The whole time she prioritized herself and not her kid. She sent me instead because she was a f---ing idiot who couldn’t pay back what she owed. I never even told my dad.
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I don’t know what to do now because that was ages ago but Somehow it’s still continuously affecting my life now as a 21 almost 22 year old.
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They really made me lie to the cop and tell them nothing happened. Nobody that ever did anything to me ever went to jail.
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I don’t know how I have been alive this long honestly. My mind is stronger than I think but everything has a limit and that’s why I’m starting to crumble now. I’m not even in my 30s yet and I’m already falling apart.
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And no. No amount of therapy will make this go away. The memories are still there the medication they give you only make you walk around like a zombie.
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AnD iF yOu kNeW tHiS wHy dId yOu gO iN
Because the only way my mom showed me a crumb of love was by doing something that would make her happy. I thought that if I went instead of her she would love me finally and she said she did she bought me a f---ing new video game for my DS a week later. I was wrong though she still told me I wasn’t supposed to exist and do you remember how I talked to her on the phone -
The first thing she asked me was if I still kept our little secret and my stupid ass said yes. Then she started to baby me and gaslight me with her bulls--- story of her wanting to take me away and my dad not letting her
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You know what none of my parents are good parents. They made it clear to me that I was not supposed to be alive and that I wasn’t something they expected
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I honestly don’t know why I’m so surprised with the way I turned out at least I got my s--- together and went to university
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My life sounds like a s--- written drama story. I would give up what I have now to have the ability of being reborn into another life. Whatever i did in my past life must have been pretty bad to end up with this one.
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I need to clear this page so I don’t get banned because I’m pretty sure trauma dumping on the lounge isn’t against the rules but still morally wrong I’m sorry
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