No Subject
- Locked due to inactivity on Sep 24, '21 3:54am
Thread Topic: No Subject
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We’re not poor but we’re not rich we are lower middle class I grew up with basically everything I could want because my parents were in their career prime I am stuck in retail until next year when I graduate and hopefully get scouted because now my plan of going into the military as an officer is non existent
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This is something I never really thought about holy s--- what is my life plan now that I’m stuck here and how will I provide them a stable economic environment as an adult in my early 20s
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My entire life plan is now stunted. What will I do without the military
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LMAO ME THINKING I would be able to get in because I would be able to trick them into thinking I was mentally stable with all 20+ tattoos and piercings and health issues and past addiction issues in the first place
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I have no life plan after graduation what is next grad school and more years of retail until I’m borderline 30 and will be able to execute my degree I want to cry
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What will I do to give them a stable economic environment
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But then what if I focus too much on giving them a stable economic environment that they are emotionally neglected
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But I’m their sibling not their dad
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But they won’t ever be around my dad so I am the default dad
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But being the default dad means no social life anymore
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That’s actually kind of fine I already partied too much in my first few years of university and after covid any party desire I had faded away
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I don’t know who I am or who I have to become in order to be the best version around my brother to assure he has a healthy space growing up
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While internally dealing with absolutely no emotions other than emptiness and worry spicing things up with monetary stress
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Also I still have that intense desire of just going away and never coming back to the US again. Never popping up to pay my medical or student loan debt. I don’t know what to do with my life.
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I think what I mean by going away from the us I don’t mean going away to another country I think that’s just me wanting to be dead. I know it’s bad to say that but I don’t think it’s normal to wake up every day and not have any feelings inside. It just feels like static or low humming. I don’t really notice it if I’m working but if I’m just sitting at home it comes back.
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