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- Locked due to inactivity on Sep 24, '21 3:54am
Thread Topic: No Subject
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And on here I might come off as mentally unstable but no in my day to day life I am normal I keep everything bottled up and try my best to act like a person that has their life together mostly because
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I have a giant ego and the thought of people seeing me vulnerable is my own personal hell but also because I don’t want to be 18-20 year old me ever again in my life
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I also don’t want to be a bad influence for my sibling because I think I have memories from when I was like 2 and I don’t want them to have that toxicity around them ever I don’t want them to turn out like me I don’t want them to have trauma like me
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Any mental breakdown I have they happen in the bathroom with the door locked and it’s just me stuffing my face in water. After that door opens I will be normal non depressed Jae.
I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m scared of them turning into a toddler because I don’t know what parenting is and what if I do it wrong obviously he has his mom and she was a somewhat good parent from what I can vaguely remember because I never really interacted with her
Its stressful I’m stressed out -
This is her first kid too and then how will cat girl play into the picture
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Is she going to be called the aunt am I going to say she’s my girlfriend is she going to be referred to as her real name only what is her role here
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Because her and I get on well she’s my 3rd best friend we think alike and stuff so there has never been any clashing between us
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Jesus how do I explain me I am your older sibling that’s way older than you are but also I am the sibling who is taking care of you like a parental figure because our dad is an overgrown man who never mentally matured past his 20s
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Obviously they will never know that I hated their mom and that she’s the person that was used to replace my mom because if it wasn’t her it would have been another person
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Because what Ana wanted me to say was that I was the dad but I was like what no because that would mean you and I you know and I don’t want them to refer to me as dad because I am their brother
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And she said she thought that was better because my dad would not be able to get into the picture that way and
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I don’t want to discuss her age either but the age gap is actually believable because surprise my dad was a creep but no that sounds like some weird hill billy story line this person was my “mom” she can’t be referred to as my spouse now Jesus
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Also as much as I want to be like Pinocchio and be a real boy I’m not I might look like it because of 7 almost 8 years of working on it because my biggest fear was not passing and I pass given like a 18 19 year old but I pass but I can’t produce a child you know you usually do I’m not going to get into it
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So that’s stressful too how and when do I tell them because they’re going to need potty training and might have questions in the future too when they’re teens and what if they turn out homophobic Jesus why am I thinking so far ahead
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I just hope for the best and will use my experience growing up to give them the best environment to be around but also
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