Ripper's Edge
Thread Topic: Ripper's Edge
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It hurts so much just existing. I only exist to hurt.
And the pain...it changes me...but not in any good way.
It only makes it worse. -
Gotta go through this s--- again. Unload groceries and get yelled at for not being able to fit crap in the fridge.
Wonderful. -
They don't need my help. Good.
They came in here fussing already. -
No...
Just shut up.
I haven't done anything to you! -
Why...???
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This is highly upsetting. They're giving me anxiety, now.
Why are they being so loud? Why are they fussing at me?
What are they talking about, now?! -
I don't understand. I've done everything they've asked me to, and then I also did what I thought they might ask me about, and they're still not happy.
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My mom offered us the week off from school, but I decided to work even though everyone has off. I feel too much trauma to not do school. I'm afraid that they'll yell at me and punish me even if I have no work. They do this every time I'm not working and they feel like I didn't do well enough or I missed something.
I feel to scared to not do work, now, and it's just impossible for me to go without working, now.
If I rest for even a second, I start to shake and I can't sleep or think or eat and I feel like I'm just waiting to be yelled at again. -
I need to calm down. I'm borderline hyperventilating.
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They're yelling about something else, now, and they're louder.
Fighting about a fly.
Just stop. -
Then, it makes me feel unsafe. I just feel unsafe when they do that. They do that a lot, too. And everyone's like that except me.
Yelling is a way of life, for them, but it scares me.
I don't want to be here anymore. -
Being here makes me feel I'd rather die.
I don't like being alive.
It feels meaningless to be alive just for this. -
I just need to vent, today. So much has happened, and I feel...just...
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I don't feel good.
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I wanna talk to Jill, but I don't think I have anymore social talk in me. I'm broken.
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