Ripper's Edge
Thread Topic: Ripper's Edge
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Just remember that someday, things change, I'm sorry though, I'm trying to make you feel better but I don't know how
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It's alright. Don't worry about me. I'm just venting. Probably all I really do here, but, that's what I'm doing.
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That song "Edge of Dawn" is literally my life. I don't even remember how I found that. I think I was just listening to videogame music on YouTube when I heard it. And I cry whenever I listen to it.
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Things a therapist would recommend, my parents don't allow or they say we can't afford it.
Like, to cure the fact that I feel I always need to be around someone, maybe a loving cat who likes snuggling?
But no, we can't afford that, and they won't let me get a job to take care of one myself! -
I am always home, but it never feels like home. Have always been alive, but never feel alive.
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I don't feel like I belong. I never have.
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If someone asked me before my life, "Do you want to live?" I would've said "No."
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I don't know how that works. I haven't critical thought.
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Gotta say, the last few days have been torment.
Would love to forget them. -
My eyes feel like s---. Ever since I looked out the window, yesterday, they've been blurry and burning.
HOW LONG BEFORE I GO TO THE EYE DOCTOR??? -
I feel dead.
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I mean, like, it only took a day--Monday--to finish the roof, but it was the worst. Like, I wasn't allowed to stay in my room. They made me sit in the basement, and everybody was off doing their own thing that made them happy, but I had absolutely nothing I was allowed to do.
So, I started talking to myself out loud because it's a nervous habit to cope with whatever's going on.
The roofers were very loud and the ear muffs didn't work.
So, they didn't want me talking and told me to shut up.
I lay in the floor liked a dead body for half the day, after that. -
And it was bad because I was panicking on the inside. It wasn't like a regular day for me, and I didn't like that. But I couldn't do anything to keep my mind off of how it scared me, either, so I just sat there.
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I kept running to the bathroom all day just to cry. It didn't help, tho.
Every time I tried to do something that makes me happy, people told me to stop because it was annoying. -
I didn't get to do anything I had planned that day, and then yesterday, my mom wanted me to help her with something, but then she ran outside to play in the dirt, claiming that I never answered if I'd help her.
BUT, YOU TOLD ME TO HELP YOU, SO WHY DO I HAVE TO CONFIRM THAT?
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