I have a question for anyone who cares
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:33pm
Thread Topic: I have a question for anyone who cares
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Alrighty, so, my question is, would you ever date someone who self-harms? This question is mainly aimed at non-self-harmers though, since I'm guessing almost any self-harmer would date someone who did the same mistakes as them. But, would you? Why or why not?
I've just been wondering what my chances were of ever getting a decent guy as a boyfriend. Like, I haven't cut in a while, but I've been scratching and all, and I wonder if that would change the opinion of someone because of that habit, or if they wouldn't want to deal with someone who doesn't know how to deal with their disorders. I don't honestly plan to get a relationship until I deal with all of this and stop for good, but even past scars and all, even if they stopped, would you still date said person? -
I probably would, since even though I don't reeeaally technically do self-harm, I've been hurt and made enough mistakes to relate to those who do or did at some point.
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If I truly loved them, yeah. But the chance of me loving someone? Kinda slim, unless you're talking family-wise or I'm interested in you. Like really interested. But to be honest, if I knew from the get-go that you self-harm, the chances of me dating you would lower because I've never harmed myself in my entire life and I'm not entirely sure how to deal with such a delicate kind of thing. I'm not too good with advice when it comes to that.
But then again, I dated Rain and I loved her. So, it really just depends with me. -
It wouldn't stop me from dating someone. I've never done it myself but I can definitely relate to having problems that are difficult and self destructive.
And honestly, not dating someone just because they have past scars is pretty crappy. It's like not dating someone because at one time they were overweight or something. Everyone has some sort of past baggage and if you truly love the person why does it matter? -
I would. I have and I am. And honestly I don't think self harm should define someone. If they have a fantastic personality I'm fine with that. I plan to in the future help them quit, but for now, if that's what helps them I don't mind. I mean, I mind in the sense they can get injured badly, but it won't stop me from loving them.
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I would. A person is a person, and everyone should be loved no matter what.
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I probably would date them if they use to self-harm, but they don't anymore. I'd be less likely to date them if they were still harming themselves though because I would feel like I'm not doing enough to help them, even though that's probably not true. And if we were to break up, I don't want to have to worry about them harming themselves more because then I would feel guilty, and probably get depressed.
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I sorta second that, DOA.
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Alrighty, thank you guys for your input, I was wondering what other people's thoughts were on it ^~^ You're all nice people. :3
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I agree with DOA, but I don't agree with DOA.
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I'd be hypocritical of me if I didn't.
Personally, I find the scars and marks beautiful, but I'm weird so. -
Don't worry Lilly, I find them beautiful sometimes too -
Yes I would, I could be a form of support for them and I'd try to help them. I wouldn't control them just give my opinion to them on ways to help. So yeah I would date them if possible.
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I self harm, but I have a bit to say on the topic.
First of all, yes, yes I would. As Dark pointed out, it shouldn't define your opinion of someone. True, it can be tougher, and sometimes, it'd be a lot of stress.
However, DOA, you're worries needn't be. If they're harming before you, they're likely to harm during the relationship, and after it. It's not your fault, and though you can try to help them, it doesn't mean they're going to stop, but it's not because you're not doing enough. Don't worry.
On the topic of them being beautiful- Do not romanticize self harm. The marks are not beautiful. They're not something you should love. You shouldn't resent the person for them, but you shouldn't say they make them better. They don't. If anything, they're battle scars that shouldn't be looked upon as blemishes. But they're not beautiful. -
i would and i am. i think shes stopped though, but she has done it before. im helping her through it though.
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