Heart shaped box
Thread Topic: Heart shaped box
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"she cared about him, not me." Florence said, crossing one set of his arms. He was more than a little uncomfortable with Collins calling him Xavier in any way. It made him feel... Wrong. Her words earlier came back to his head. 'Florence, I don’t think you were meant to exist.' he squeezed his arms.
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'W-Well, I guess, but she'd still care about you,' Collins said. 'You don't have to talk to her. But she's Xavier's mother. She probably misses you- or Xavier.'
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Florence sighed and hesitantly, he walked up to the woman, she slowly backed away as he got closer. He squeezed his arms tighter, his nails starting to dig into his arms. "Do you recognize me?" He asked the woman. She didn't respond. Florence avoided making eye contact. "Do you recognize my voice the same way I recognize yours?" He asked. The woman's lip quivered as she stared at Florence, saying nothing.
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Collins stood behind him, watching the two quietly. She hoped the woman wouldn't scream and run away. Florence would be upset.
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"do I look familiar? Does my nose seem as familiar to you as yours does to me? Do I even have the same face as he might've?" Florence said, tears starting to form in his eyes as his nails dug deeper into his arms. The woman still, said nothing but seemed to sob a little louder
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Oh, great, now they’re both crying. Collins didn’t know how to comfort one crying person, nevertheless two. She stepped forward and put a hand on one of Florence’s arms as moral support. ‘You okay?’
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"I am not Xavier, but I'm supposed to be aren't I? She doesn't recognize me, even I don't recognize me." Florence said. Collins' earlier statement came back screaming into his mind. He wasn't supposed to exist. The woman looked confused, her sobs receding just a little bit. "I'm not Xavier, just a failed experiment aren't I?" Florence said, his wings folding further in.
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‘W-Well, I…’ Collins looked to the woman, faltering. She looked back at Florence. ‘You’re not just a failed experiment. You’re my friend. And you’re Riley’s friend. And you’re that green dog’s friend.’
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"but I'm not meant to EXIST." Florence said, his breath stilling halfway through the sentence, stretching syllables he didn't mean to. His tears fell slowly. He didn't want to cry. He wanted it to be fine. He didn't want to think about that one little thing that hurt his feelings. Collins was his best friend, but hearing that from her hurt him in his soul.
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Collins was quiet for a few moments. She didn’t realise that would hurt Florence’s feelings. She thought it would make him feel better about being scary - it wasn’t his fault. She gently rubbed his arm with her thumb, unsure if he wanted space or comfort. ‘I didn’t mean it like that,’ she said quietly, watching him.
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Florence, I don’t think you were meant to exist.' Florence mimicked, in Collins' voice. "You said it. I just... You keep bringing up Xavier after that. I feel like... Like... Like you think.... Like no one.... I-i just... I'm tired of Xavier. I'm Florence. I don't remember anything before the experiment. I-I don't have any of the hobbies they s-said he had... I don't like airplanes, his luggage was full of airplanes... I h-hate airplanes." Florence said. He had trouble arranging these thoughts as they all flowed out. The woman, stunned stood up and began to, slowly, back away.
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Collins hadn’t realised she’s hurt him like that. She felt horrible for hurting him like that. Hearing her voice coming from his mouth felt surreal. She hated it. ‘I-I’m sorry,’ she said simply. She didn’t know what else to say, for fear of hurting him again. She grabbed his hands to stop his nails digging into his arms, but gently, so he could pull away if he wanted. ‘I didn’t realise- I’m sorry, okay? Please stop crying.’
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Florence let go of his arms, and sat still. Disconnected almost. Tears occasionally rolled from his eyes as he watched the woman walk away backwards. "I know you didn't mean it. I just... Please don't bring up Xavier for awhile. I-i really don't l-like him." Florence said. His voice shook as he tried not to cry, knowing that his tears would only upset Collins further. He felt bad about it, but he couldn't hold in that sadness. It was hard for him to suppress the thought when everything about the situation was about Xavier. In his eyes, Xavier was someone else.
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‘Okay, o-okay, we don’t have to talk about him.’ Collins tried to distract him by rubbing his skin with her thumbs. ‘I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.’ She knew people lashed out when they cried, so she was trying to ground him before he did so.
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Florence sat down on the ground. He took out the heart and played it's familiar melody. The repetition soothed him, as it usually did. Florence could not, however, stop the tears from rolling from his eyes. He was nowhere near becoming violent but... He thought of running away. Leaving the situation that had nothing to do with who he was and everything to do with who he wasn't.
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