Shrouded despair and forgotten ambitions
Thread Topic: Shrouded despair and forgotten ambitions
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Why is it so like her to completely ruin my day? I have the best days when she’s away. It’s the conditional love that hurts, like if she was constantly an a--hole at least I’d know how to deal with it, but if I do so much as “step out of line” she seems to hate me. Like I can’t have my own opinions otherwise I’m disrespectful, I can’t stand up for myself because I’m talking back, I can’t tell her to stop calling random people wankers and s---heads (not to their faces but still) because I’m the child and she’s the adult. Actual words that came out of her mouth. I hate that I have to be the bigger person and she acts like a goddamn child. I’m always the one that has to try and diffuse situations because she blows up like a f---ing toddler then doesn’t apologise, acts as if I’m a brat and she didn’t just call me a series of names. Istg I can’t wait so many years until I’m 18, I’m so f---ing tired.
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And it’s funny because I was in such a good mood before it was her who picked me up, not my dad
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The one playlist on my Spotify alt describes pretty well how I’m feeling right now. Just an arc of emotions ig
And the thing is I’ll never be good enough for her. I could get straight As, which is what I’ve been doing, have great behaviour at school (up for debate but it says excellent on the effort part of my report card so). I could be just like her and who she wants me to be and I’d still never be good enough. She goes from being kind to an a--hole so quickly and it’s scary because I’ve seen her at her worst and honestly its terrifying -
‘You seem so different from when you started therapy’
Yeah because I’ve learnt not to respond to your s---. Because I try to mask my feelings because I know you’ll tell me I can’t cry, and you’ll never know how many panic attacks I’ve had in the past week. f--- you for this and f--- you for calling me a girl right to my face and not noticing how much I hate it -
SO SORRY if this was smth you didn't want ppl to reply to, but-
reading these pissed me off so much because no child, no child should have to feel like they need to walk on eggshells around their parents, OR act the adult in any situation. and like, you're a f---ing human who should be allowed to have whatever opinions they want and shouldn't be afraid to speak your mind. honestly, you're a really f---ing cool person and it hurts to see you have to deal with s--- like this-
and if there's ever anything, and i mean anything you need to talk about, i'm always here :) -
You’re all good
Yeah, I really f---ing hate it. I don’t like venting on here, bc ik people will see this and I can usually sort it out by myself, but yk sometimes it just gets too much to bear. Ikr, it’s f---in ridiculous
Ty :’) I really appreciate that man -
no problem, mate :D <33333
srsly tho, that is f---ing ridiculous, like- she's a literal ADULT and she's snapping at people, leaving you to calm the situation down?? it really seems like an anger issue thing, especially if this happens often. -
:)
Ikr! It’s so f---ed up, and this isn’t like a new think either- -
I was waiting until I made sure it was ok to post
Yeah, you shouldn't have to act like an adult just because your mom is acting childish. I know it happens, but that doesn't mean it's ok. You're literally amazing and I hate that this happens often.
Also who the f--- raises an amazingly not-girl-obviously like you and still calls them a girl TO THEIR FACE- like hUh?? -
You’re all good
Me too, but it’s not a thing like ‘oh she’s being an a--hole’ and yeah she is but it’s more of I’m scared to stand up to her anymore because of what’s happened in the past, yk? I just hate posting vents here and maybe worrying ppl
Ikr, like wtaf? -
imsoclueless SeniorLITERALLY, LIKE-
that's f---ing stupid, man-
girlie needs to get her eyes checked, ngl xD -
Ik :’)
XD -
f--- she called my eyes pretty in the sun f--- there's no way I have a crush on her s----
I can't decide who i'm crushing on atm istg also nobody respond to this it's f---ing embarrassing` -
This is how I deal with crushes I’m not good at it lmao
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Why is my mum such a f---in a--hole
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