Safe Place
- Locked due to inactivity on Feb 4, '24 3:54am
Thread Topic: Safe Place
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for some reason, anytime my mother babysits a baby , the baby (it literally doesn’t matter WHAT baby lmao) always comes 2 me 😭😭
like im happi babies apparently trust me coherently but why do babies like me so much LOL -
my mother had another baby she was babysitting n i was helping
i taught it how to throw 😈😈 hehe havoc /j , i was tryna play catch w it n it was doing fairly well -
SHE* idk why i call babies it LMAOAOAO
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i completely forgot but im getting the springs attached to my braces removed in 2 months !! yayayaya less metal
but ive had my retractor or whatever it’s called 4 like 1 or 2 years n they keep telling me they’ll get it removed next appointment but they never do 😡😡 sum1’s been capping -
i jus realized how fixated i am w art
why -
AWWW sum frens of mine jus told me i motivate them 2 create more art 💛💛 :’)
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ill be honest i jus RLLY wanna tell sum1 , any1 , “ily” rn
but that would be weird 😭😭 like i wan shower sum1 w compliments , throw a bunch of gifts at them , nonstop tell them i luv them , hug them a bunch , n commit arson together LMAOAOAOAO -
shonks i miss staying up til 4 am texting sum1 , i rlly miss that special feeling
ive had it w a few ppl but i genuinely feel like i always mess things up :( wish id jus stay w sum1 n not get so anxious that i push them away
honestly ive learnt from that. took me 3 ppl to learn it but i learned it nonetheless
ill use it 4 future reference when i meet sum1 else who’ll give me that special feeling -
thing is ive always had a problem w pushing ppl away n breaking up w them bc i feel like they’ll push me away first , so it’s sort of like an immediate assumption that ill get hurt so i need to like , push them away first
idk it’s hard to explain :( idk why i feel like this bc in all the relationships ive been in , nobody broke up w me . it was always me who ended thingamajigs which led to me not trusting myself n thinking that i couldn’t be trusted w other ppl’s trust
this is awfully hard 2 put into words lolol , so ill jus leave it at “this happened , now it won’t happen” -
is it bad that im literally STARSTRUCK for sum1 who doesn’t exist ?? 😭 like i made up a person in my head n im literally head over heels for them LOL
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it happens repeatedly , ill pull sum1 into a close relationship n then push them away
it always seems to confuse the other person , n honestly im quite confused myself ?? i feel a personal connection but i feel a need to push them away
like ive gone on n off to the conclusion that im aromantic but ik im not , ik it roots from a deeper problem but the thing is when u don’t know what that problem is it leads to more problems -
jus tryna understand myself is all . i confuse myself
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I FOUND SMTH THAT DESCRIBES IT PERFECTLY YES i literally couldn’t put it into words but it literally words it precisely
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you desperately crave closeness in your relationships but, fearing abandonment, you choose to reject this person before they can reject you
EXACTLY idk if any1 else experiences this but it’s so common w me to where i literally try to restrain myself from any relationships bc ik ill probs end up pushing them away
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