Safe Place
- Locked due to inactivity on Feb 4, '24 3:54am
Thread Topic: Safe Place
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17 mins past schedule :’) gon be tired when i wake up lmfao, robbed myself of 17 mins of sleep 😭
anywho gngn -
glad i made my new schedule, 20x mor productive even if im COLD AF in the mornings 😭😭
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a curious thing, thinking that maybe there is a god, and maybe he is loving
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if you think on it, boundless of who a creator is, if they give their creation free will, it’ll always end in the creation blaming and accusing the creator. anything that happens isn’t his fault if he exists
and i genuinely jus feel happier overall thinking that maybe there is a god <3 -
unfortunately my bible is king james version (closest to accuracy, but v confusing bc they spoke differently in previous generations) so ill have 2 invest in a more comprehensible bible
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vibing to lofi w sum1
that sum1 is me -
i keep switching between dif ocs i have my eye on 💀 rn it’s a black cat w one eye n an unusual tail, it was based around the theory that “black cats are the epitome of bad luck” n that “witches have black cats”
still working on the design, tryna draw it rn -
i now return to the abyss 2 try to accomplish smth LMAO
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😞
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im happi w my own company n perfectly content, but i jus realized i literally have nobody else
ik nobody cares about me n ive known that for a while, i grew pretty accustomed to the thought to where i began to become perfectly fine in my own company. but at times ill jus get this wave of loneliness, bc i physically am restricted from actually meeting ppl, n everyone i DID know moved on. seems like the moment u stop running, nobody stops for u. life jus goes on
i get it might be a problem w me, n ive been self conscious about that n tried to peer into our experiences w each other. but no matter how hard i look i cant seem to find anything ive done wrong
am i jus annoying ? is that it ? -
ive been there for ppl for years, and yet they still consider me a stranger
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just hurts ig but what do i know
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i shouldn't think too much on it, i shouldn't rlly let this impact me bc maybe im thinking too much on it
ive already learned nobody cares bc everyone's too busy w their own lives to carry the burden of sum1 else's, n the ppl who aren't busy aren't worth ur time bc they never bother
but again, i hate this random wave of lonesomeness, it's so infuriating especially when i jus want to LEARN to be content n be content overall in my own company
i dont rlly have anyone to talk 2, i dont trust any of my family except for my mum. and my mum, i jus hate the idea of laying a burden on her bc she's already done so much for us -
there's times where i jus think it would be better without my existence. im jus a plague on everyone's shoulders. ive wanted to help ppl n be there for them, n i have ! i think , i did my best at least
sumtimes when its not reciprocated , it can jus take a toll on u . bc by helping others, ur carrying both urs and their problems without ever getting the steam out , n then ur jus left to be a boiling tea kettle until u burst
ive had this happen different ways . in ways where i jus cant feel n am literally the embodiment of a shell n am jus apathetic towards others , n other times where ill become so ANGRY i jus wanna crush sum1's skull along w my own -
everyone goes through these same feelings , n that makes it easy to connect w them
but it jus feels like once u've been there for them all these years , they jus get bored of u n trash u
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