Fire in the Dark
Thread Topic: Fire in the Dark
-
just --- let go?
yeah, let go.
it's not easy----
i know....
how many times have i let someone go?
well, let's see---
akirah, corey, emma, shiloh, caiden, aliegh, allysa, sarah, cole, brandon, phoebe, levi, my dad, adele, hunter, aiden.
so many....
ran.....
i think about you still....
phoebe....
you're 3 now....
levi....
almost 5.....
my dad---
are you happy without me? glad to be rid of anna? the problem child who ripped your house apart?
levi---
do you even miss me? do you even know who i am anymore? did they tell you? do you ever think of me?
phoebe----
did you run to my door, knocking and asking for me? do you still ask for enna? i'm sorry i'm not there. i'm sorry i couldn't be better for you. you need me. i need you. i need to know you're okay
they're getting big. without me. i don't get to say anything to them. i'd love to call my dad and ask to say hi.
just---
one last thing to say to them.
i love them. i miss them. anna loves them. anna misses them. anna. alex and don may be the names i use currently, but anna is the name they will always know me by. -
Say Something
Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'll be the one, if you want me to
Anywhere, I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you
And I am feeling so small
It was over my head
I know nothing at all
And I will stumble and fall
I'm still learning to love
Just starting to crawl
Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
Anywhere, I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you
And I will swallow my pride
You're the one that I love
And I'm saying goodbye
Say something, I'm giving up on you
And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
And anywhere, I would have followed you
Oh-oh, say something, I'm giving up on you
Say something, I'm giving up on you
Say something
Let Her Go
Well, you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go
Staring at the bottom of your glass
Hoping one day you'll make a dream last
But dreams come slow, and they go so fast
You see her when you close your eyes
Maybe one day, you'll understand why
Everything you touch surely dies
But you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
Staring at the ceiling in the dark
Same old empty feeling in your heart
'Cause love comes slow, and it goes so fast
Well, you see her when you fall asleep
But never to touch and never to keep
'Cause you loved her too much, and you dived too deep
Well, you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go
Oh, oh, mm, oh
And you let her go
Oh, oh, uh, uh
Well, you let her go
'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go -
Better Now
You prolly think that you are better now, better now
You only say that 'cause I'm not around, not around
You know I never meant to let you down, let you down
Woulda gave you anything
Woulda gave you everything
You know I say that I am better now, better now
I only say that 'cause you're not around, not around
You know I never meant to let you down, let you down
Woulda gave you anything
Woulda gave you everything, oh-oh
I did not believe that it would end, no (end, no)
Everything came second to the Benzo (Benzo)
You're not even speakin' to my friends, no
You knew all my uncles and my aunts though
20 candles, blow 'em out and open your eyes
We were lookin' forward to the rest of our lives
Used to keep my picture posted by your bedside
Now it's in your dresser with the socks you don't like
And I'm rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin'
With my brothers like it's Jonas, Jonas
Drinkin' Henny and I'm tryna forget
But I can't get this s--- outta my head
You prolly think that you are better now, better now
You only say that 'cause I'm not around, not around
You know I never meant to let you down, let you down
Woulda gave you anything
Woulda gave you everything
You know I say that I am better now, better now
I only say that 'cause you're not around, not around
You know I never meant to let you down, let you down
Woulda gave you anything
Woulda gave you everything, oh-oh
I seen you with your other dude
He seemed like he was pretty cool
I was so broken over you
Life, it goes on, what can you do?
I just wonder what it's gonna take (what it's gonna take?)
Another foreign or a bigger chain (bigger chain)
Because no matter how my life has changed
I keep on looking back on better days
You prolly think that you are better now, better now
You only say that 'cause I'm not around, not around
You know I never meant to let you down, let you down
Woulda gave you anything
Woulda gave you everything
You know I say that I am better now, better now
I only say that 'cause you're not around, not around
You know I never meant to let you down, let you down
Woulda gave you anything
Woulda gave you everything, oh-oh
I promise, I swear to you, I'll be okay
You're only the love of my life (the love of my life)
You prolly think that you are better now, better now
You only say that 'cause I'm not around, not around
You know I never meant to let you down, let you down
Woulda gave you anything
Woulda gave you everything
You know I say that I am better now, better now
I only say that 'cause you're not around, not around
You know I never meant to let you down, let you down
Woulda gave you anything
Woulda gave you everything, oh-oh
dad, amanda, this for you. -
i never meant to let you down.
i'm sorry dad. i really am. i just want you and mom together. i want to see levi and phoebe. i want a normal family. -
Miss Wanna Die
Awake, I opened my eyes to see
A hospital, so white and clean
I was walking up to the roof, I think
Then can't recall at all a single thing
Held a hand for me, you were there
I know, but couldn't reach
The me that would fall down all the time
But stand and reach my hand to see…
"Have you tried crossing over yet?"
Ah wanna die, wanna die
But don't really wanna die
You were there, you would care
Making me aware
Every scar, all the blood
More and more, they’re never done
Not enough, not enough
Ah wanna die, wanna die
But don't really wanna die
If I died, you would cry
And I don't know why
Every scar, all the blood
More and more, they're never done
Not enough, not enough
When I forget you, I'm all alone without a place to go
But then played a mirror like a show, the past I used to know
A dream, 'til I see every part of me, eyes of red following and
I wanna live, wanna live
Deep inside I've always been
Reaching out for a hand, so don’t let this be the end
Mushrooms growing on my head
Still remember even then
Where you are when I'm dead
Ah wanna die, wanna die
But don't really wanna die
You were there, you would care
You know it really isn't fair
Every time I forgot
You remain inside my thoughts
Not enough, not enough
Ah wanna die, wanna die
Wanna die, but I still couldn’t die
With you by my side
Behind the days I spent alone, afraid
Now you're here to stay
Lalala lalala lalala lalala
And the scars never fade
Memories that replay
Rewind yet again to the pain we felt on that day
i remember when ran told me not to listen to this.... -
how long before i slip up and can't fix my mistakes?
how long before they all abandon me?
gold reflects a lot more of me than i ever really thought. -
i can't believe how much of myself i throw into my characters. i always put trauma into them.
-
when i look in the mirror it makes me sick. i will never be who i want. i may never come to terms with my body....
-
dysmorphia.
yeah, i know i got it. y'all don't believe me. i'm anorexic, i'm adhd, i have ptsd, i have separation anxiety. -
Californication
Psychic spies from China try to steal your mind's elation
And little girls from Sweden dream of silver screen quotation
And if you want these kind of dreams it's Californication
It's the edge of the world and all of Western civilization
The sun may rise in the East at least it's settled in a final location
It's understood that Hollywood sells Californication
Pay your surgeon very well to break the spell of aging
Celebrity skin, is this your chin, or is that war you're waging?
First born unicorn
Hardcore soft p**n
Dream of Californication
Dream of Californication
Dream of Californication
Dream of Californication
Marry me, girl, be my fairy to the world, be my very own constellation
A teenage bride with a baby inside getting high on information
And buy me a star on the boulevard, it's Californication
Space may be the final frontier but it's made in a Hollywood basement
And Cobain can you hear the spheres singing songs off Station To Station?
And Alderaan's not far away, it's Californication
Born and raised by those who praise control of population
Well, everybody's been there and I don't mean on vacation
First born unicorn
Hardcore soft p**n
Dream of Californication
Dream of Californication
Dream of Californication
Dream of Californication
Destruction leads to a very rough road but it also breeds creation
And earthquakes are to a girl's guitar, they're just another good vibration
And tidal waves couldn't save the world from Californication
Pay your surgeon very well to break the spell of aging
Sicker than the rest, there is no test, but this is what you're craving?
First born unicorn
Hardcore soft p**n
Dream of Californication
Dream of Californication
Dream of Californication
Dream of Californication -
Star Walkin'
Don't ever say it's over if I'm breathin'
Racin' to the moonlight and I'm speedin'
I'm headed to the stars, ready to go far
I'm star walkin'
Don't ever say it's over if I'm breathin'
Racin' to the moonlight and I'm speedin'
I'm headed to the stars, ready to go far
I'm star walkin'
On the mission to get high up
I know that I'ma die reachin' for a life that I don't really need at all
Never listened to replies, learned a lesson from the wise
You should never take advice from a nigga that ain't try
They said I wouldn't make it out alive
They told me I would never see the rise
That's why I gotta kill 'em every time (gotta watch'em bleed too)
Don't ever say it's over if I'm breathin'
Racin' to the moonlight and I'm speedin'
I'm headed to the stars, ready to go far
I'm star walkin'
Don't ever say it's over if I'm breathin'
Racin' to the moonlight and I'm speedin'
I'm headed to the stars, ready to go far
I'm star walkin'
Been that nigga since I came out my mama (woo)
Thankin' God daddy never wore a condom (woo)
Prove 'em wrong every time 'til it's normal
Why worship legends when you know that you can join 'em? (Join 'em)
These niggas don't like me, they don't like me
Likely, they wanna fight me
Come on, try it out, try me
They put me down, but I never cried out
Why me?
Word from the wise
Don't put worth inside a nigga that ain't try
They said I wouldn't make it out alive
They told me I would never see the rise
That's why I gotta kill 'em every time (gotta watch'em bleed too)
Don't ever say it's over if I'm breathin'
Racin' to the moonlight and I'm speedin'
I'm headed to the stars, ready to go far
I'm star walkin'
Don't ever say it's over if I'm breathin'
Racin' to the moonlight and I'm speedin'
I'm headed to the stars, ready to go far
I'm star walkin'
(Star walkin')
Don't ever say it's over if I'm breathin'
Racin' to the moonlight and I'm speedin'
I'm headed to the stars, ready to go far
I'm star walkin'
Enemy
Look out for yourself
I wake up to the sounds of the silence that allows
For my mind to run around, with my ear up to the ground
I'm searchin' to behold the stories that are told
When my back is to the world that was smilin' when I turned
Tell you you're the greatest
But once you turn, they hate us
Oh, the misery
Everybody wants to be my enemy
Spare the sympathy
Everybody wants to be my enemy-y-y-y-y
(Look out for yourself)
My enemy-y-y-y-y (Look, look, look, look)
(Look out for yourself)
But I'm ready
Your words up on th wall as you're prayin' for my fall
And the laughter in th halls and the names that I've been called
I stack it in my mind, and I'm waitin' for the time
When I show you what it's like to be words spit in a mic
Tell you you're the greatest
But once you turn, they hate us (Ha)
Oh, the misery
Everybody wants to be my enemy
Spare the sympathy
Everybody wants to be my enemy-y-y-y-y (Look, look, look, look)
(Look out for yourself)
My enemy-y-y-y-y (Look, look, look, look; yeah)
(Look out for yourself)
Uh, look, okay
I'm hopin' that somebody pray for me
I'm prayin' that somebody hope for me
I'm stayin' where nobody 'posed to be p-p-posted
Being a wreck of emotions
Ready to go whenever, just let me know
The road is long, so put the pedal into the floor
The enemy on my trail, my energy unavailable
I'ma tell 'em, "Hasta luego"
They wanna plot on my trot to the top
I been outta shape, thinkin' out the box, I'm an astronaut
I blasted off the planet rock to cause catastrophe
And it matters more because I had it not
Had I thought about wreaking havoc
On an opposition, kinda shockin' they wanted static
With precision, I'm automatic quarterback
I ain't talkin' sackin', pack it
Pack it up, I don't panic, batter-batter up
Who the baddest? It don't matter 'cause we at your throat
Everybody wants to be my enemy
Spare the sympathy (Ah)
Everybody wants to be my enemy
Oh, the misery (Ah)
Everybody wants to be my enemy
Spare the sympathy (Ah)
Everybody wants to be my enemy
Pray it away, I swear I'll never be a saint, no way
My enemy
Pray it away, I swear I'll never be a saint
(Look out for yourself) -
it's not over. i'm going to make this my anthem.
Star Walkin'
Don't ever say it's over if I'm breathin'
Racin' to the moonlight and I'm speedin'
I'm headed to the stars, ready to go far
I'm star walkin'
Don't ever say it's over if I'm breathin'
Racin' to the moonlight and I'm speedin'
I'm headed to the stars, ready to go far
I'm star walkin'
On the mission to get high up
I know that I'ma die reachin' for a life that I don't really need at all
Never listened to replies, learned a lesson from the wise
You should never take advice from a nigga that ain't try
They said I wouldn't make it out alive
They told me I would never see the rise
That's why I gotta kill 'em every time (gotta watch'em bleed too)
Don't ever say it's over if I'm breathin'
Racin' to the moonlight and I'm speedin'
I'm headed to the stars, ready to go far
I'm star walkin'
Don't ever say it's over if I'm breathin'
Racin' to the moonlight and I'm speedin'
I'm headed to the stars, ready to go far
I'm star walkin'
Been that nigga since I came out my mama (woo)
Thankin' God daddy never wore a condom (woo)
Prove 'em wrong every time 'til it's normal
Why worship legends when you know that you can join 'em? (Join 'em)
These niggas don't like me, they don't like me
Likely, they wanna fight me
Come on, try it out, try me
They put me down, but I never cried out
Why me?
Word from the wise
Don't put worth inside a nigga that ain't try
They said I wouldn't make it out alive
They told me I would never see the rise
That's why I gotta kill 'em every time (gotta watch'em bleed too)
Don't ever say it's over if I'm breathin'
Racin' to the moonlight and I'm speedin'
I'm headed to the stars, ready to go far
I'm star walkin'
Don't ever say it's over if I'm breathin'
Racin' to the moonlight and I'm speedin'
I'm headed to the stars, ready to go far
I'm star walkin'
(Star walkin')
Don't ever say it's over if I'm breathin'
Racin' to the moonlight and I'm speedin'
I'm headed to the stars, ready to go far
I'm star walkin' -
life is sooo hard. i don't believe this...
i hate waking up every day. i hate it. -
every day there comes a time where i give up
now is the time. -
i think i shut down every night and have to redownload and reboot every morning...
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