My Special Place In Hell
- Locked by Carri04 on Mar 22, '22 11:17pmReason: :( Request
Thread Topic: My Special Place In Hell
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There's nothing left to say or do. My downs are extreme and my upset are not enough.
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*ups
No one wants to hear me complain about the same thing over and over, and I don't want to hear them tell me the same thing when neither statements change the situation. -
Nothing is worth any of this.
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I feel like screaming and lying in the floor, crying.
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It almost feels as if I didn't even go to the hospital.
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And memories of my parents fussing at me for going in the first place
Debt from the hospital
Angry siblings
Things with school
Disapproving grandmother
Loneliness
School
Insomnia -
Aren't you all sorry to be here? This life is hell, so what's the difference if I go?
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Why am I still here?
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I'm tired of it.
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I am so f---ing angry at my mom. She knows I tried to call her and each time she did, she had some excuse as to why she couldn't talk. That butch is never that busy. She's just ghosting me. And when I tried to call her just now, she kept the phone just ring, AND THEN she sent a message saying she couldn't talk at the moment; but less than a minute later, she blows my phone up with texts ordering me to read a specific chapter out the Bible. I texted her after I read it to let her know I looked at it, and she decides to just text me goodnight instead of finding out why I called her to begin with. If I had only a few minutes left to live, I guess she'd never even know that I was about to kill over and die because she's always doing s--- like this. And what makes me angry is that she tries to throw the Bible at me as an excuse to be mean to me and ignore me when I have serious concerns for her.
I'm so angry I just want to go all the way back up the road and punch her one good time. -
You've always been so evil to me, and now that people know, you're going to do it more actively--is that it?
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My aunt is right, though. My mom does need to see somebody about the crap she does. I told her a while back that she needed a therapist and she grounded me because she thought o was being a smart-mouth when I said it.
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I hate my life. I have a s---ty-acting family and I'm unmemorable unless everyone's angry at me for something, and people only want to be friends so they can use me and everything deserves to burn in a fire because that's what you do to any power garbage.
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*other
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All I wanted was a normal family, growing up. And now my childhood is gone and the rest of my will be a reminder of how much I hate myself and how much my parents disapprove of me.
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