My Special Place In Hell
- Locked by Carri04 on Mar 22, '22 11:17pmReason: :( Request
Thread Topic: My Special Place In Hell
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O don't want to be alive today.
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Everything I do seems to mean nothing in the end so why do anything? When we die, it is all meaningless.
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My life is meaningless. What I do today won't matter in the distant tomorrow I'll never see.
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I am in so much pain, I'd rather just be dead already than feel this. This headache hurts so much and nothing stops it.
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Well, we're here, now. That's one step closer to being done with this.
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I'll just stay in here. I'm probably worrying people again.
I feel like I want to die, though. -
I'm not s*icidal, so that's a start. But I still would rather die than be here, sometimes.
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Maybe I'll feel better if I go sit with my aunt for a little bit anyway. Hopefully she won't mind me being in there.
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My heart is aching. I don't want to do this anymore. It's tormenting.
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I want my life to end, but I can't push myself to do anything; I know taking it isn't the answer.
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But what is?
People say God. People say hard work and therapy. people say helping others. But none of this seems to work for me. It puts ointment on an open wound that needs stitches. And there's nothing that can peace my life back together. None of it. -
I don't want to talk. I don't want to think. I don't even want to breathe. I just want this to be over.
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Please. I can't go on like this.
It's torture that I can't kiss and I have to live with this. It's more harm to go through all this experimentation and find it doesn't work. -
Why did I think doing something would help myself? Even if I recovered, my whole family would absolutely hate me.
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But I still have those thoughts...
And tonight, I feel so drained.
I feel so hopeless.
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