Venting Thread
- Locked by Carri04 on Oct 29, '23 9:13pmReason: Sorry you gotta deal with this.
Thread Topic: Venting Thread
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I also feel unsafe now. And unloved...and even manipulated
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I hate my life. I feel unloved, manipulated, I have been lied to, my doctor said I could possibly lose my life if I continue to have depression w my Diabetes and it's not like I could just get rid of it, my brother's a jerk, my parents are getting into a divorce and my mom didn't even tell me, I'm so frickin lonely at home and school, I'm tired, I'm stressed, I'm getting harrassed, and I legit don't wanna take care of my health just so I can have a stroke and die and-well, I could go on and on, but instead, I'll go cry
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My mom was talking abt "hypothetical" marriage and asking if I was happy.
I take needles everyday, cry once a day, am close to dying, scared, been lied to, lost my friends, and have been depressed for 3 years-do I seem happy to u? -
Also, I can't take care of most of my Diabetic stuff now cuz my doctor believes that I'm going to use it to make a "plan" when I said I have suicidal thoughts and they want me to live.
Idk why, they think I may pass if I don't get over things and take better care of myself so why I don't I just end it early?
Plus, I don't want to live to see the end of the divorce. I'm already breaking down enough -
Bruh, my mom asked if I want friends and is trying to plan some friendship dates for me like-what? I'm not a little kid and don't want friends just to pity me. They don't like me; they don't care and soon enough, they'll leave or I'll have to move and leave them. It's better being off by myself so then I won't be heart broken again and my life is already trash so why make a friend ya know???
Also, once I pass, that'll only hurt them and the reality is that I will go before I reach 18 and if I don't, I'm considering making a "plan" cause I don't want to live another day or have surgery if something does happen. My life is terrible and smiling at it ain't gonna make it smile back. I can say that to my millions of heartbreaks, breakdowns, panic attacks, lost friends, bullies, the divorce, and every other piece of trash happening in my life. At this point, I'm laughing at my sadness cuz there's nothin I can do abt it.
It's funny how I vent then do nothing abt my life to make it better but just be stupid and make a mistake. Haha-I'm going to go-Idk-do something dumb and reckless Ig -
I don't want a therapist. I'm fine. I've been dealing w this for 3 years, it's normal to cry everyday for that long for me
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My mom doesn't want me to make a "plan" but I'm debating on whether or not I should
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Yeah...but then if I killed myself, there wouldn't be any emotional pain and surgeries if things go wrong. 😛
I mean, it's already going to happen, I'm not opening up to my fam abt some cr*p I'm not able to get over -
If I lose my life, that's on me
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I strongly don't want to become homeless....
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Ig I was just meant to be sad, alone, and have everything broken apart
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*Sighs* There my mom goes talking trash abt my father. The whole situation is all scary and unbelievable. Sorta stupid too
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I wish I would stop crying...
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I'm scared to sleep bc I'm scared that I won't be able to breathe. That's how bad my throat is RN ;-;
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Oh oof that sounds stressful :(
Maybe some steam or some honey tea would help?
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