My Venting Thread
- Locked due to inactivity on May 20, '21 3:54am
Thread Topic: My Venting Thread
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I think I’m gonna start this thread off with my anger.
About a year ago, my sister dated this guy. It was a serious relationship. Hell, they were engaged! But soon enough, the rest of the family (besides my sister) found out that the guy was a possessive, manipulating son of a b*tch. It was difficult to get my sister to break away from him, and when we finally did, it was far too late for her to just get over it. She, of course, fell in love with him. And she was hurting, probably more than I hurt. And I knew that she was hurting, but I had no idea exactly how much she was hurting. I was getting ready for bed one night recently when I saw her open notebook on the bed that we share. I probably shouldn’t have read the page she was on but I did. I’m not going into the detail of exactly what she wrote down. All I’m gonna say is that I was crying. That b*tch destroyed my sister, leaving just a sliver of her left. Now I have more anger then I know what to do with. If he lived closer to me then I’d strangle him. And I wouldn’t care if I got arrested because of it.
Now, as I write this, I realize that there are people on here that have worse problems than me. I’m sorry. But I had to vent somewhere. -
Ok, I’ve finished with my anger.
Now depression follows -
I still think about it. I don’t know why I’m still hanging on to it, but I can’t let go. It’s been six months. Why do I still cry over it?
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I sort of feel numb too. Maybe it’s because I hid it for too long. And maybe that’s because I didn’t want to share it with my family. They have better things to do with their lives then sit down and listen to me rant about my personal problems. They’ll all begin to listen and then say, “oh, Elsa, you don’t really feel the way you think you feel. I have to go to work. Bye, sweetie.”
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Oh, Mama said gonna be all right
But mama don't know what it's like in my mind
Mama said that the sun gon' shine
But mama don't know what it's like to want to die
I can't carry this anymore
Heavy from the hurt inside my veins
I can't carry this anymore
Wonder what it's like to be okay
I know I'll be fine it's just that
Everytime this comes back
Tell my maker up above that
I have had enough and
I can't carry this anymore
Heavy from the hurt inside my veins
I can't carry this anymore
Wonder what it's like to be okay
— I Can’t Carry This Anymore by Anson Seabra -
Oh shut up, Elsa. There are people on here with much worse problems then you. Stop ranting. No one cares.
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I’ve had suicidal thoughts before. I was sitting on my bed crying one night when I saw my sister’s pocket knife lying on the ground. I kept staring at it, thinking, “imagine: if I simply stabbed myself in the heart then I would die, and my pain would be gone. I wouldn’t cry anymore. If be free.
Sometimes I wonder if I should’ve done it. -
I don’t feel like I’m good at anything. Take writing for example. My family tells me that I’m amazing at it. But they’re my family, they’ll always tell me that I’m good at what I love. They don’t to damage my confidence.
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Like I’ve ever had any confidence.
I’ve never been able to talk to people. That’s why I only have one friend. That I talk to like once a week at my church’s youth activities. At the activities, all the leaders are pushing us to socialize and make new friendships. I sometimes wonder what it would be like if I listened to them. If I want an introvert, but an extrovert. Would I have a good amount of close friends?
No, I don’t think I would. My mom took me and my brother to a park a couple years back. From 3pm to 5pm every Thursday, a bunch of homeschooled kids(from ages 5 to 15) hung out. I made a few friends on the first day there. Next week they didn’t even come close to me. They saw me, but they just walked away. What did I do wrong? I don’t know. I didn’t do acting on purpose. Maybe it was just me. Maybe I’m not good enough for everyone else. That’s why I feel so alone most of the time. -
<3 Cinna, I truly believe in you, and in the time you've been on the forums, I can tell that nobody in their right mind would abandon you.
Are you okay? We all have tough times, but I think you’ll get through yours. You’re tougher than the times you’re going through, and don’t let anything get to you. -
Thanks Lies, that really helped
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Cinna, I just want to say that you're not alone in this. I'm here for you and if you ever need me, just let me know, okay? You are a wonderful, amazing, and beautiful person and anyone with a speck of sense would love you to bits like we do.
You said your problems aren't as bad as someone else's? Even if your problems aren't as big, they're still problems and they need solutions too. Just because you're not as sick doesn't mean that you don't see a doctor. So please just stay safe and stay strong. You've got an army of GTQians on your side ❤ -
Oh gosh I can’t explain how much everything you both said means to me, thank you so much
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No prob, fam :D
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Someone
Please
Kill me
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