Another Venting Thing
Thread Topic: Another Venting Thing
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They came overrrrr
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ok so it was the smile
For sure for sure -
I feel like s---
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I know that everything would be better in Texas. I don’t know why we came back here, but no good has come out of it
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I’ve always had a positive view on change, because Texas was literally the best thing that happened to me, and that was because we moved.
But this change hasn’t done anything to help me at all. I feel like I’ve completely stepped down from being happy and confident and everything.
I’m not religious and I don’t believe in fate, but I DO feel like everything happens for a reason, and that moving to Maryland disrupted everything about my life.
No good has come out of it, and things aren’t even looking up for the future. I know that I can’t graduate from this place, I know that I won’t be happy here. It’s my childhood and my parents took it away from me. I don’t get to be happy or have good friends. They did it all because they wanted something that Texas couldn’t give. But Texas literally gave me the best years that I’ve ever had. I don’t know if y’all remember, but I used to be crazy about the idea that I lived in Texas. I was so proud of it and that just felt good.
To be clear, I do know what made my parents leave. I just don’t understand why they would do that to me- or all of their kids. The reason that they wanted to leave was for the exact same reason that we left Maryland the first time.
Timeline of the moves:
1. My mom didn’t like some people at work, and claimed that she was so stressed. So, we moved to Texas so that she could be happier.
2. Best years of my life DUH
3. My mom decided that she didn’t like the people at work in TEXAS this time, and claimed that she was too stressed.
4. Worst years of my life -
And it’s all because my mom is never gonna be happy where she is, and that she thinks that she can take years away from her children. Then, my dad has to put up with her constant complaining.
I’m gonna be honest- she is not happier here. In Texas, she would go swimming every morning and she’d just have this huge smile on her face. She would take Paco out for walks around the block and then tell us everything that she saw when she got home.
She was just happier, and kinder towards herself and her family.
I keep thinking, “Did she think she could be happier than that?”
Happiness and happiness. If you’re happy and content with where you are- then keep it that way.
There was a time when we were visiting my grandparents in New Jersey, and my dad, sister, and I were all in the car together. I asked him about moving back and he said to me these exact words:
“If we move one more time, I’m gonna blow my brains out.”
HE’S gonna blow his brains out? What about his kids? My sister had to move schools right before she graduated for college. That’s not fair, that’s stressful. My parents are lucky she didn’t kill herself. They’re lucky that none of us have killed ourselves yet.
They can’t put their kids through that much and then expect things to be fine. I think the worst thing is that there’s a part that of both of them that knows that moving was wrong. They ignored it because they chose their own happiness over their kids. -
THAT is s---ty parenting and they can’t cover their bad decisions up with presents, a fancy house, or nice dinners. We all know what they did, and I think I won’t ever look at them the same way.
Because I know that they don’t always have our best interests. -
It’s the fact that they did something horrible and expected us to suck it up. After all, “Kids dont have lives until they graduate.”
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My parents are literally like
“hm. You seem sad”
oh really? -
This year has been the f---ing worst. And I don’t know what to do. Things have been really sucky and all I want is to go back
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There are palm trees here
oh my f---ing god I missed palm trees -
Let’s get this straight. I miss my friends. I miss my school. I miss the house. I miss everything. They don’t get to take everything I care about and then laugh about the decision at dinner.
I’m done with the “maybe I deserved this”. I know that I don’t. Truly, I don’t.
I deserve to be with my friends and the people that I care about. It’s obvious, but I HATE it here. I’m not resisting change or anything. I can’t live here. I’m so miserable here.
That’s not fair. It’s not fair to do me like that. I know where I belong, I really do. -
And I don’t wanna say, “Go back or I’m gonna kill myself.”
But that’s what I’m gonna do. I don’t wanna give anyone an ultimatum like that, and I’m not joking around.
My parents made an awful decision and they need to know that. After everything, I actually feel bad more myself. No more self-hate, no more feeling bad for my parents. It’s their fault, it’s all them. They made a bad decision and that shouldn’t make me feel guilty.
If I want to die, the least people can do is let me die. None of the stupid “No we love you” or “everything’s gonna get better”
I know that things are gonna get better. They always do. But this stupid place and these stupid people have come into my life and I can’t just forget it. It took four years to forget them to first time, and I’m not doing that again.
I am done, and I don’t give a s--- if things get better. -
I could’ve texted the group chat and just been like
“I’m bored, someone come over”
And someone would come over. Like there is no way in hell that I’m gonna invite someone over to come swimming or whatnot -
Kudos to whoever cleans our pool, it’s really pretty
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