There's something that's been bothering me.
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:33pm
Thread Topic: There's something that's been bothering me.
-
I don't want to be a girl.
No, not because I think girls are more unfortunate. It's actually pretty difficult for the guys, but hey, who am I to judge this? I'm just sick and f---ing tired of people misunderstanding me, so let me make this clear before hand: I do not wish I was a guy because I think girls have it harder.
As for exactly why I don't want to be a girl, that's what I've been trying to figure out. I've always tried to avoid acting feminine- or, at least, what I think is feminine. At the age of six I vowed to always hate the color pink (I'm including this only because it's a stereotype). When I was young I'd always get muddy or do things other girls were scared to do because I didn't want to be feminine. There was a time when I let up- about second grade, all the way until last summer, I decided it was okay to like some girly things. (Of course, I had always figured I was just trying to be tomboy, so I decided I'd try not to let it confine me.) Now, anytime I do something feminine (i.e. skipping, walking in a feminine way, screaming/talking in a high pitched voice, moving my hands in a feminine way, anything to do with pink, any girly clothes, gossip, sitting with girls instead of my typical guy group, spending forever picking what to wear) I am genuinely angered at and ashamed of myself. I hate being a girl. I hate doing these things. Doing these kinds of things actually makes me want to cry. Don't get my wrong, I have cried over this many times.
Not only am I disgusted by any feminine thing I do, but I'd rather hang out with guys than girls. While I have four 'good' girl friends, I honestly wouldn't even bother with them if we weren't separated into boy and girl gym classes. I need someone to talk to during gym, so I've really got no choice, but otherwise I'd much rather guys. Today I found myself in a group of seven guys at school and I can't even explain how happy I was that there were no girls in the group. Guys just make really great friends. I fit in better with them.
Also, when I dressed as a guy and posted a picture to GTQ, I felt a lot more confident. Looking like a guy made me feel good about myself for once. I felt like I wasn't out of place. I'd do it again if I could make my hair look the same, but that was f---ing hard.
I want to be a guy. I wouldn't exactly say I am a guy, but I really, really wish I were. It's not like I could be openly transsexual, though. Everyone at my school is transphobic, and so is my family. If I were to gain the courage to ask to be referred to as a guy, I'd then definitely try to look like one. To look like a boy I would want to cut my hair, but my hair is what I'm known for. I've been growing it out since second grade, and it's over three feet long. Everyone knows me as the girl with long hair and my mom would never let me cut it. She's even openly said how much she hates girls with short hair, especially when they're trying to be guys. So that's out of the picture. The cool thing is, having guy friends, I already get called bro and dude. I never did understand why girls took offense to that.
I guess I'm just trying to figure this out. I'm trying to see if I'm transgender, or if I merely wish I was. I don't know. -
tl;dr enjoy being a trans man
-
Seriously @The Geek. Dude you are not empathetic to nothing are you?
-
He said "enjoy".
-
I wasn't exactly looking for empathy anyway, but a bit of advice would be nice.
-
If it makes you feel better. I get that feeling a lot.
-
*sigh* Sometimes I feel like that too, but I love my girlfriends.
-
"I wasn't exactly looking for empathy"
-
scarlet4ever NewbieIf you feel comfortable with it, go for it. No one can run your life, or ruin it, as the case may be. It's just..m*sigh* people are people, they're always going to talk, no matter what, so... Well, maybe you should care a bit less about them
-
scarlet4ever NewbieIf you feel comfortable with it, go for it. No one can run your life, or ruin it, as the case may be. It's just..m*sigh* people are people, they're always going to talk, no matter what, so... Well, maybe you should care a bit less about them
-
scarlet4ever NewbieSorry, double post.
-
Night1001 NewbieLet's all be transgenders.
First Leelah then Zander then Mia then Zane now potentially you.
WOOH, TIME TO GROW SOME TITS YEAH! -
scarlet4ever NewbieNight: you are crazy ;D
-
Night1001 NewbieI'm not completely sure it isn't just puberty striking. Have you felt as if you should be male instead of female before? Not just being more masculine or 'bro-material' than feminine, but rather legitimately disliked being the gender of female.
Also, pics of the guy get-up? -
Night1001 NewbieOh, and damn straight I am.
Pages:
- 1
- 2
This thread is locked, therefore no new posts can be made.
