Thread for myself. :D
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:20pm
Thread Topic: Thread for myself. :D
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Easy? You think it's an easy, cowardly way out? That it's selfish? That's bullshit. People don't care because people don't show them they care. To the suicidal person it's saving everyone. It's not selfish in the mind of someone who really needs help. You're a bitch to say it is.
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I don't care how old this subject is, but I'm covering it:
I don't like you. I thought it was because of you and the other person, but I was lying. That was my main reason. The more I thought about it, it's the behavior. I hate the way both of you act. If you truly cared about someone and wanted to say you "love" them, then love that person. Not the world. Flirting with every person you see is a major turn off. Neither of you are used to rejection, but that's why you do. Because someone doesn't see you as a sex god and tells you your behavior is bull. I didn't say it because we were friends, but forget it. I hate you. I hate the way you constantly act as if you're the most amazing thing in the world. I can barely stand that being friends. I'd never date you because of that. -
Why am I so cold?
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"You're never alone" Haha, I'd like to say that to myself, but that's not true. There's not that one person I can always go to. I used to think there were, but they get sick of me. Family? They hate me. Immediate, house family can't stand me. Everything I do is wrong or stupid. I don't have anyone. Even on the Internet where there's thousands of people. I don't have that one that will talk to me no matter what. I don't have a best friend online or in real life. And I guess that will have to do. Some people pretend they care, but it's an act. They do it to everyone they think needs some lying.
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No one fully listened yesterday. My parents were yelling at me the night before for no reason. I was crying for well over fifteen minutes after being woken up. I find I cry a lot when other people try to wake me up. The thought, "school" it just kept running through my head. I just kept dreading going that day and I don't even know why. I couldn't stop crying, I didn't want to go, I didn't want to be there. I didn't want to deal with people.
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"I can't go, I can't go" I literally feel like when I go to school tomorrow I will cry. I hate it, I hate the town, I hate the fakes, I hate everyone and everything. I just want everything to go away. Or something to go right? I've relied on the Internet so much. Helping other people helps me feel better. But now that the editor won't work, I've lost pretty much my only method to help myself and be productive. I only felt like I was worth something when I made someone happy. It's ridiculous. I want to tell someone in school, everything. Every detail, but it'd take at least three hours. The person in mind...... I'm not sure if she'd stay quiet.
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You can always go to me..
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They all rushed me. I almost had an outburst. I almost screamed at them to shut up because I can hear them and I couldn't think. If they wanted me to finish, they shouldn't have been distracting. But I didn't. I know their grades will show what they deserve. They don't deserve good grades. Finishing so soon can't be accurate. I know I'll do better than those who rushed.
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Sad thing is, the teacher could hear them quite well and couldn't contain them. Pity, first her of teaching and it's starting off pretty bad.
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Alex, just leave me alone.
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Okay sorry.
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I just want to be alone, sorry.
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I have to fake being okay for friends most of the time. I can tell they'll start getting sick of me. Or they're kids. Sometimes they're hurting too. I have to act as if I'm fine, like whatever is bothering me doesn't matter. It doesn't matter to them for the rest of the day because they don't feel well and I care about how they feel. But me? I'm faking, attention whore, liar, etc. No, I'm not. I'm depressed and sad. I need friends, but they don't seem to care.
I miss my old friends, I miss the old days. When things were just easier. -
I wish I could tell my friends once in awhile, "You know what, that isn't bad. I'd rather be dealing with that" but I'd be sounding like the biggest bitch to ever live. But "I'm sicccckkkk! Dx" "my bf dumped me :(" "in not happy in mah relutinship bet I dun wanna b mean n I still wunt 2 b in one"? Seriously. -.-
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Resey, are you alright?
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