dying to be with her wasn't any sacrifice
- Locked due to inactivity on Feb 27, '23 3:54am
Thread Topic: dying to be with her wasn't any sacrifice
-
I can't keep doing this
I can't melt down at work -
gonna start @ing people when I respond to them on here because the way I respond to multiple people in the same post without any indication as to who I'm talking to has to drive people bonkers
-
I am home
to worms and rats
rotting like a log
hands and
belly empty
I crave peace the way
wolves crave meat
angels crave the (iron fist) love of their god
I crave peace like I've heard of it
only in books
and I am not sure
I know how to pronounce it
I want certainty
like you used to want me-
feverishly, frighteningly
and I am as close to finding it
as you are to loving me again -
might f--- around and post what I've been dealing with this last week bc I really need support right now
-
yeah, I'm gonna post some screenshots.
huge f---in TRIGGER WARNING for anyone that might be reading this thread: sexual assault and drugs
next post will be screenshots of some messages I've exchanged with a friend explaining what's up -
actually, now that I'm thinking about it, here's another trigger warning for severe mental illness
this is genuinely extremely disturbing, please believe me and exercise your best judgment before reading this -
for context, ash is my 22 year old girlfriend
holly is her 25 year old sister
-
strike calling me a f----- from that screenshot
I confirmed with ash that everything else in that screenshot did happen, except for that one. I'm the only one that heard her call me a f-----. She did throw both a full can of soda and a candle at Ash though. She also threw a barbie doll I bought to give to Seth across the room. -
a little addition to try to explain why this is so upsetting to me
-
I thought I was handling it really well but my first day back at work I found myself mildly inconvenienced by a situation I can normally handle with grace and broke down completely. I had to shut the store down two hours early because I wasn't able to function.
-
Hey, I wanted to ask if you were comfortable with me offering my support to you? /gen
-
I'm not sure who you are, but honestly I appreciate anyone talking to me about this right now
it's been really painful for my girlfriend and I and I really just want kindness right now -
I'm not in a place to offer much support, but I wanted to reassure you that your feelings are valid. You're going through a really tough situation, and there's no shame in breaking down from the weight of it all. I really hope that things get better for you and those involved.
-
I would also love to offer any sort of support I can. I feel like there's not much I can do but I'm here if you ever need to talk or anything. That all sounds incredibly stressful.
I also want to remind you to be kind to yourself and that you're not any of those terrible things people are saying to you. I know it can be hard to not blame yourself but you're not a bad person and I think it's really wonderful that you put in so much effort to help, even if it wasn't received well -
I want to start off by saying that you and Ash are absolutely valid in your emotions, even with everything that's happened to Holly. Even if it's a result of hormonal imbalance, sleep deprivation and her assault, you two would not be any less valid for how you feel /srs
I cant offer any advice, since I'm not from the USA, and unfamiliar with how hospitalisation works over there.
But I will say, it defintley sounds like paranoid delusions as a result of sleep deprivation, trauma and her new medication.
If there's anything at all I can do, to even just lighten up your mood please let me know.
I'm Marrow, and if that changes anything about me talking to you here that's absolutely valid /gen
Please stay safe, and I hope you and Ash will be able to come out of this olay /gen /pos
This thread is locked, therefore no new posts can be made.
